You know what we need for the last month of 2023? 12 days of Christmas movies. Or should I say… EXmas movies? Because we’re starting off this year’s series with a new one starring Blair Waldorf Leighton Meester. It’s cute. It’s got family. It’s a rom-com. But does it pass the Christmas movie vibe check? You know what we gotta do. We gotta run it through the Patented Christmas Movie Rating Scale to see! Strap in. We’re only on day 1, friends.

Romance: 5/10. The premise of this movie is pretty simple, and it’s heavy on the romance. Kinda. Ali (Meester) and Graham (Robbie Amell) were once engaged. But now they’ve broken up and are working on moving on with their lives. Graham is deeply involved in his work designing a video game or something (which has to be done on Christmas DAY because corporations are evil). So he won’t be able to make it home for Christmas. So sad.

Then, last minute, Graham decides to surprise his family and come home for the holidays anyway. But he’s in for a surprise. His family, thinking he wasn’t coming home for the holidays, invited his EX to hang with them instead. What the heck is wrong with this family? Why would they do this?

Stupid premise aside, these two have no chemistry whatsoever. I was hoping maybe they’d realize they’re better off as friends and end up with other people, but no such luck. What you think will happen is exactly what happens, and it’s not earned at all.

The only reason this is even getting 5 points for romance is the lesbian romance that Graham’s sister has going on. This was a minor plot point in the movie, unfortunately, but it was way more interesting than anything going on with these two.

Morality: 2/10. There is zero morality and no bigger lesson in this movie. I found myself really disliking this family. We don’t even see why the family invited Alli to Christmas in the first place, and the fact that they don’t immediately choose their own son over is ex is disturbing. Like… they really just don’t like their son. Honestly, I don’t like him either. He’s boring. His family is annoying. I learned nothing from watching this movie.

Music: 2/10. I remember no music from this movie. I think I already blocked this movie out from my head. I’m sure there were some Christmas songs in here though, so I guess we’ll go with a 2.

Christmas Spirit: 8/10. I’ll be generous. There were a lot of Christmas things happening here, as much as I hated this movie. There were decorations everywhere. There was a whole story of a missing baby Jesus. There were festive holiday parties. There were, as I will discuss later, Christmas cookies. This was a paint-by-numbers Christmas rom com, and they at least got this part right.

Warmth: 0/10. I don’t think doing drugs is necessarily warm or cold… but this has to go somewhere and it has to be acknowledged, so why not here? There’s a scene where Alli accidentally makes Christmas cookies with THC butter. Everyone gets high and it’s supposed to be super funny. It’s not funny. I have to wonder about Alli’s reading comprehension skills since the butter was clearly labeled. Maybe there’s a way to write and perform and film a scene where a whole family accidentally gets high. But this wasn’t it. This just made me uncomfortable. And I guess feeling weird and uncomfortable is not a warm feeling so… zero stars. Maybe that’s unfair, but I hated this movie.

Also Leighton Meester is a really pretty actress. There was no reason to make her look like this. What is going on with her hair?

Okay. Welp. How did this movie do?

17/50 = 34%/F-. This might be the lowest I’ve ever scored a movie for this series. This movie was just so boring. The leads had no chemistry. I didn’t like anyone in this family. This movie is currently available to stream for free on Freevee. But like… I want them to pay me for having to watch this movie.