On the 10th Day of Christmas Movies, we return to Hulu for another Christmas installment of Into the Dark! As promised.

This is the story of a struggling office worker who is OF COURSE named Ted (played by Kyle Howard). Ted sucks up hardcore to his boss in the hopes of receiving a promotion. Then, after finding out at the office Christmas party that no one is getting a Christmas bonus this year, Ted is invited to an exclusive private afterparty at the boss’s (Julian Sands) house. What at first seems like a quiet dinner party soon turns out to be a strange competition for a coveted promotion.

Sure, this movie is clearly commenting on the uneven distribution of wealth in this country and how people will do whatever it takes when it comes to money. But is it any good?

We’ll have to run it through the Christmas gauntlet to find out.

Romance: 5/10. This movie has six main characters: three married couples. Ted is married to Tatum (Angela Sarafyan… who you will definitely recognize from Westworld). Tatum is a conflict resolution…ary? She resolves conflicts. We also have Ted’s competition Gavin (Dustin Milligan), a douche who proudly calls his wife Missy (Natalie Hall) a “trophy wife.” Then there’s the big boss man Steven and his wife Kiwi (Molly Hagan) who flirts with everything. Despite the multitude of couples, there’s not a lot of romance. Ted and Tatum are the closest thing we get to romance, simply because they actually seem supportive of one another. As opposed to the two other couples who actively hate each other. It’s nice to see a couple that’s sort of happy… but romance? Not really.

Morality: 7/10. This movie has a lot to say about capitalism and competitive office culture. None of it is revolutionary or new, however. And without spoiling the ending, I will say that the end left this “moral” on a strange note. I’m not quite sure what we’re supposed to take away from this. So as much as this movie tries for morality, I feel like the morality suffers at the expense of this film’s attempts to be shocking and weird.

Music: 3/10. I remember there being a smattering of Christmas music, but that wasn’t really central to the movie. We certainly didn’t get a fun jingle like we did with Pooka! which makes this a definite downgrade from last years Into the Dark Christmas movie. One of the many reasons this movie isn’t as good as Pooka!

Christmas Spirit: 3/10. There were Christmas trees in the background and the movie started at a Christmas party. Other than that, was there anything about this movie that made it a Christmas movie? This could have been any dinner party at any time of day. There wasn’t anything that made me thing, “Ah, yes, this is a Christmas story. If we didn’t have the Christmas lights in nearly every shot, I would have forgotten this was supposed to take place around Christmastime entirely.

Warmth: 0/10. Major fail in the warmth category. As I mentioned earlier, this movie was all shock and weirdness just for the sake of being shocking and weird. I know some people get into that kind of stuff, but I do not. I don’t mind a weird movie, but it has to feel purposeful. A lot of this felt random.

What’s more, there was a really unsettling side plot involving a disabled person. It all felt very insensitive and in bad taste. Not unsettling in a fun way. Unsettling in a “why did the creators of this movie think it was okay to do this?” kind of way. I felt very uncomfy.

As much as I love the idea of a Christmas horror movie, I think it’s probably clear already that this movie did not work for me. What’s more, it wasn’t really a Christmas movie or a horror movie. I don’t know what it was going for, but it was not working for me.

Let’s see just how much it didn’t work for me.

18/50 = 36%/ SUPER DUPER F.

If you’re a completest and want to watch all of the Into the Dark movies, then by all means watch this one. But if you’re looking for only one to watch this holiday season, I’d definitely stick with Pooka!

Only two more Christmas movies left! What will they be? Find out soon!