I’m so excited to finally get to review a feminist Christmas horror film. We don’t get enough of these, do we?

Black Christmas (directed by Sophia Takal) is the 2019 remake of a 1974 Canadian film of the same name. To be fair, I have not seen the 1974 film. Maybe that’s a review for another day? So I cannot say for sure how closely this film adapts the original. But this is what the 2019 movie is about: A group of girls from various sororities start getting weird threatening messages from someone who claims to be the (very dead) founder of their school. And then they start getting killed off… one by one. But this is more than a slasher film! This one’s got a definite feminist message. Let’s get into it.

Romance: 9/10. This wouldn’t be a Christmas film without a little bit of romance, and this one obliges. Our main character Riley (Imogen Poots) has trouble trusting men after she was the victim of sexual assault. But kind, gentle Landon (Caleb Eberhardt) who hangs out at coffee shops and owns sound equipment (movie code for sensitive and smart) might just give her faith in men again… or will he? For a couple of reasons, this relationship doesn’t move quickly. It’s also not the main focus of the movie. And I think that worked. If they had forced RIley into a quick relationship, that wouldn’t have felt very honest or in line with the purpose of the movie. So yes. 9/10 because the type of romance fits the movie, but it’s still not hyper romantic.

Morality: 10/10. Surprisingly, this movie is all about morality. Riley and her sorority sister Kris (Aleyse Shannon) are all about fighting the patriarchy. Riley and Kris want to out their misogynistic campus culture. Their professor, Professor Gelson (played by Cary Elwes AKA Wesley from The Princess Bride) loves to teach from a syllabus that has absolutely zero authors who are women, people of color, or LGBTQ+ people. In case you’re not aware, this is not okay. I wish I could say this is unrealistic, but it ain’t. Kris starts a petition to get the school to do something about it.

Additionally, there’s the whole issue of the frat houses and sexual assault. Riley was attacked by a former frat boy, but when she went to authorities, no one believed her. Again, I wish I could say this is unrealistic, but it ain’t.

Anyway, this movie is a slasher film, yes. But it’s also a fun feminist revenge story. Having personally experienced the misogyny of academia, I found this very cathartic. And I think a lot of women who have experienced misogyny (which is probably all of them) will appreciate this as well. Unless you hate joy. IDK.

Music: 10/10. I have to give this movie a 10/10 in the music category because of the instant Christmas classic “Up in the Frat House.” Click the link to check out the song, but here are some of my favorite lyrics: “There's no more of protecting you, No he said, she said, what was true? Don't say what you did was all my fault, 'Cause what you did is called assault.” To the tune of “Up on the Housetop,” of course. A+.

Christmas Spirit: 10/10. This woman makes a damn snow angel AS SHE IS DYING. It doesn’t get much more Christmassy than that. Am I right?

In addition, I would like to point out that Riley and Kris’s sorority house is decorated for Christmas quite beautifully. I mean, Christmas lights in every shot. Weird talking Santa toy that ends up saving the day. There’s also a scene where they end up buying a giant Christmas tree. The movie also opens with a sweet Secret Santa party. I feel so festive.

Warmth: 9/10. Well, a lot of people die, so there’s that. Also, as much as I love hating on men (and I DO love hating on men, always), I do wish there was at least one man who was a little more nuanced in this movie. Even Nate (Simon Mead) who is for the most part a sweet supportive boyfriend announces “NOT ALL MEN!” at one point, which was… so gross. Landon is alright, I guess, but also very one note. On the flip side, it does make up for basically all the other movies in the world that only have one note female characters. So I’m not going to sit here and be a social justice warrior for men. They’re fine.

There’s also all the sisterhood and women supporting women happening here. Which is pretty badass.

Not at all surprised that I rated this movie high. I loved it, and I’m confused about why it’s been getting such bad reviews across the board. This is a fun time at the movies that also gave me the Christmas feels.

Total: 48/50 = 96/A+. Loved it. Go see Black Christmas in theaters now!