Last week, both Missy and Aaron were sent home. Who will be sent packing this week? And will it feel as cathartic as last week? Only one way to find out! On to the recap!

Todd: This episode had a lot of Lauren. 

Mary: More Lauren did not make it a better episode, in my opinion. She is quickly becoming the cast member I am most tired of. 

Todd: Mmhmm. Even more than Noura?!?

Mary: Well look, that’s a hard thing to decide. I think Noura is still the worst, but Lauren is creeping up, mostly because of how much she cries--not that she is crying, but because of how fake it seems. 

Todd: Fair. If my Survivor knowledge is right, and this season it is hard to tell if it is, this means Lauren is either about to be swiftly booted or she is going to be a major player until the finale, and the possibility of that is a little disheartening in what has quickly become a disheartening season. Still, I suppose we should break down the specifics of what happened this episode in a little more depth.

Mary: I don’t want her to be a major player per se, but I do think her presence could make for an interesting game. It could. That’s just me trying to be optimistic, I guess. 

To be fair to us, we’re writing this the day after Thanksgiving, after running around between two states with two big families. We are tired. Happy, but so tired. 

Todd: So tired. If we’re clocking it, I just woke up from a nap and I am feeling it. Also, and this is an original take, why does the sun set so early??? We are like a month into DST and it really hit me hard today.

Mary: It set before 5 today. We are living in a dark time of year.

Todd: Literally! And a dark season of Survivor, metaphysically! 

Mary: Let me tell a sidebar story. Today, while travelling around Nashville on this very Black Friday, I started to feel hungry. So hungry. When I get hungry, sometimes I get mad. Not at anyone in particular, you know, just mad that I’m hungry. So today Todd and I were travelling around and the restaurant we wanted to eat at had a huge line of folks outside waiting to get in. I put my head in my hands and quietly sighed (in my mind it was quiet), and Todd began redirecting us to a different location. Hangry, I had criticisms of this other restaurant, reservations about it. Todd ordered for us, and we ate our hamburgers and I felt much better. Afterwards, I had to wonder: is this what it’s like (on a much smaller scale) to be on Survivor? You’re on an island, starving, eating tiny bits of rice for days, then suddenly Applebee’s is there and it’s the best food you’ve ever had in your life. Gabby’s Burgers & Fries, you truly make a delicious burger, but I also suspect how hungry I was enhanced the flavors. 5/5 would eat that burger again. 

This story definitely means that I would be voted out of the game immediately because I’d be mad from hunger. Todd, do you think you’d last through being hungry and grumpy? 

Todd: 100%. The bigger issue would be that people would constantly think I was looking for the idol when in fact I am just using the bathroom. Or, I wouldn’t poop the entire time and then would spend the first week in Ponderosa on the commode. I would also say something like, “As my friends always say, you simply hate to see it” or something dumb like that.

So. At the beginning of the episode, Lauren is worried about Tommy, who everyone knows is her strong ally, and yet somehow those two are never even considered to be targets, despite everyone throwing a huge fit earlier in the season about Dean and Chelsea! What’s up with that, contestants?

Lauren is relieved to see Tommy return from tribal, and Karishma reveals, I guess literally, that she has hidden her idol in her “trusty little armpit” (this becomes important later. Sneaky, sneaky editors!).

Mary: I love the phrase “trusty little armpit.” It’s so silly. 

Todd: Elizabeth is pretty upset about what happened, stating that “Today sucked for me.” That’s fair! Her two closest allies were voted out and she has no one else to work with, but Elaine, being the optimistic person that she is, tells Elizabeth to buck up and that this is an opportunity for her to talk to people she wasn’t able to talk to before. 

Mary: While everyone is assessing their position in the tribe, Dean makes the observation that “the Goat army is assembling.” All of the people that they previously saw as tag-alongs to the end are now organizing to vote out people who are “threats”--well, according to Dean, anyway. It’s true that people who were previously discounted by other players are now establishing themselves as potential social threats in the game (Karishma’s idol play is a good example of this later in the game, and the way she organized to get Missy voted out), but Dean’s rant about the Goat Army seems paranoid. 

Todd: And also dumb. Because, and let’s be clear about this, Dean is also a goat. He has no shot to win. He’s not a physical threat (as Lauren makes clear at Island of the Idols--all glamor and no guts in those muscles). And no one wants to work with him aside from having him as a number in a vote. So while the previews for this week made it seem like Dean was assembling his own Goat Army, we are instead given another dumb confessional from a player that, hopefully, won’t even sniff the final tribal. (Although the more I sit and think about it, the more likely it seems that we could have a real Jud “Fabio” Birza situation on our hands, which is horrifying and would also feel exactly right as a capper to this season.)

Mary: The group has to select who will go to Island of the Idols, and Lauren immediately volunteers to go. Karishma says in a confessional that she wanted to go to the island, but she was afraid to say so for fear of putting a “target” on herself. I totally understand that singling yourself out in any way is potentially dangerous, but also Karishma seems terrified to do anything for fear of putting herself in danger. If you can’t say anything or do anything, how are you even supposed to play the game?!

Todd: Yeah, it sucked to see Karishma take a back seat to Lauren in this scenario, and it seemed to really consolidate the episode’s narrative about Lauren gaining power.

Mary: Lauren sails over to the Island of the Idols and is overjoyed to see Sandra and Rob, hugging Sandra hard and walking with them to camp. Importantly, just before Lauren arrives, we get a scene of Rob and Sandra eating fruit with their chicken, who BITES QUEEN SANDRA. This scene meant nothing and was so silly, but it really was a highlight of the episode for me. 

Todd: This was an IMPORTANT SCENE because it was fun and funny, and we got to see Sandra run away from a chicken.

Mary: Rob tells Lauren that she’s going to learn about situational awareness. He asks her to predict who’s going to win the next challenge, then “sweetens the deal” by saying she can pick two people who may win. If either of those two win, Lauren gains an immunity she can use at either of the next two tribals. If she loses, she loses her vote. Pretty standard stuff for Island of the Idols. Lauren takes the deal and goes on and on about how smart she is about social games, and how she has everyone in the tribe pegged. I don’t think I disagree with her assessment of everyone, but I do disagree that she’s the most socially aware of the group. The things she said about her tribemates are pretty...surface level observations. She predicts that Elizabeth or Noura will win the game, which is an endurance challenge, because Elizabeth was an Olympic athlete and Noura does a lot of yoga. *yawn*

Todd: Yup. Not too hard to figure this one out, certainly. Especially when she knows that the person most likely to give them a run for their money, Tommy, is basically in her pocket and will do whatever she tells him to. The other twist is that the challenge will be an eat-or-play challenge, involving breakfast foods. With this knowledge, Lauren returns to the rest of the contestants for “story time”. Also, how crazy is it that it is Day 30 and some people still don’t know about Rob and Sandra?

Mary: This is still the wildest part of the game to me. Of course no one is telling each other that Rob and Sandra are there, but still! This seems like a long-play secret and I’m very into it. I can’t wait until it’s revealed to everyone. 

Also, Lauren’s play to get everyone to sit out and eat actually works. Lauren’s manipulation of the rest of her tribe is a nice reflection of Noura’s attempt to do something similar in an earlier episode. Noura tried to lie to the tribe in order to win an advantage and totally bombed it by acting suspicious and flashing her crazy eyes. Lauren maneuvers through this bit perfectly by isolating each tribe member and having casual, lighthearted conversations about how good breakfast food is. She also straight up tells Tommy she can win an advantage, so he gets on board, too, and helps her convince the others not to play. In the end, Karishma, Elizabeth, and Noura are the only people to participate in the challenge. HOW IN THE WORLD.

Todd: This is truly wild! I just kept thinking, statistically, someone is going to regret not playing. Karishma is the first to fall in this challenge (also seen on Ghost Island) in which the contestants have to maintain pressure to keep a ball from falling above their head. Karishma sits down and begins hyping herself up. Jeff, who is never one to walk away from a potential heartwarming moment, asks Karishma why she is crying--and she says her mind is strong but she doesn’t know why her body is not cooperating. Jeff, kind of fumbling, says it could be playing Survivor for 30 days.

Mary: It made me genuinely upset that no one seemed concerned at all about Karishma outside of Jeff--and even Jeff didn’t really dwell on it, let’s be honest. Karishma has consistently struggled emotionally and been ignored (at least in the edit), and just...ugh. If this is a composite of America, I don’t like it. 

Todd: Jeff cannot abide quitters (see also: Osten from Pearl Islands). 

Mary: Oh boy, YES. The iconic kicking over of the torch scene.

Todd: Truly, iconic. But while Jeff is more than happy to cheer on Cirie when she tries to finish a challenge that has already concluded, he has nothing to say to Karishma when she can’t keep up with Noura and Elizabeth.

Mary: Noura wins the challenge and immunity. She tries to continue playing the game, even after Elizabeth drops out and she’s the last one standing, so the people who chose to eat can nosh a little longer. Jeff says, uh, it doesn’t really work that way Noura. Noura is so...Noura. I can’t handle it. 

Todd: That is very true. But this also brings up a question that I had after the episode. Is Noura...a challenge beast? She has now won two immunity challenges handily, the same thing that got Aaron voted out last episode. Obviously, she may not look as “buff” as Aaron or even Dean, but she is still very good at these endurance-type challenges.

Mary: She might be a challenge beast, I guess? I think she has the will to endure long challenges like the one we saw this week, but I’m not sure how she fares in other types of challenges. That being said, after the merge they seem to stick to a lot of endurance challenges, which everyone has the potential to win. 

After the challenge, everyone begins wondering who will go home. After talking to Noura, Elizabeth feels worried that she’s next to get voted out, so Noura steals Karishma’s bag to see if she has an idol. While this isn’t the first time someone has had their bag searched on the show, the attitude Noura had bummed me out. She seemed like she felt entitled to go through the bag, that it was no big deal. I didn’t like it. It felt like an invasion of privacy. Luckily, you can’t search the trusty armpit. 

Todd: There is some stuff with Dan. It sucked! I hate that we still have to see his dumb face, and that he is in a position of power in the game. I hate it so much! He tells Karishma to vote for Elizabeth but Karishma wants to talk to Elizabeth for herself so she goes over and says, Hey! 

Then, Dan comes over and says, Did I hear my name? Because apparently Lauren can read lips? Anyway. The point of all of this is that Dan, who had previously wanted to split the vote between Elizabeth and Karishma, with Elizabeth going home, now just wants to get Karishma out. Bleh.

Mary: It’s gross. I hated how Dan interrupted them and tried to insert himself into their conversation. As if people aren’t already all talking about each other.

At tribal, there are tons of metaphors getting thrown around, but none of that really matters because Dean tries to play the “legacy” advantage given to him by Jamal which is fake. Dean tried to make a forged copy of the fake advantage...because? (Todd: No one may know the ways of Dean.) The advantage that Jamal gave him didn’t even look real! 

Dean triumphantly walks up to play his advantage, which Jeff promptly announces is not real. *insert laughter here*

Karishma also has something to play--something real. She fishes out her idol from her trusty armpit and plays it for herself. And then things get wild. Oh, and Lauren also plays her immunity idol, but it doesn’t matter because no one votes for her. 

Todd: Honestly, not a bad move from Lauren. The idol is only good for 2 tribals, which she will definitely be attending, so why not play it on a night that already seems chaotic?

Jeff reads the votes. Seven go for Karishma, all of which are nullified. Seven! Then there is one vote each for Janet and Elizabeth. The tribe has to re-vote, only casting votes for Janet and Elizabeth. This is nerve-wracking! But 4 votes are read out and they are all for...Elizabeth! And just like that, the Olympians story comes to an end.

As a note, I just want to point out that Aaron and especially Missy and Elizabeth sold out their morals (or just made a fool of themselves) to keep Dan in the game over Kellee and ended up winning! Good for them! Guess it was all worth it! *checks notes* What’s that? They didn’t win? They ended up 11th, 10th, and 9th respectively? ...Oh.

Mary: I definitely agree. WAS IT WORTH IT?! I posit it was not. It’s satisfying to see these people I so disliked in the whole Dan saga get voted out one by one, immediately. That doesn’t make up for what happened, but it does lessen the blow. 

Todd: And now? Dan must go. 

THE MERGE

Mary: This episode, it occurred to me that Elizabeth sounds a little bit like Elizabeth Holmes. Every time someone came up to her to talk, she started talking in this deep husky voice that sounded, to be frank, fake. Is there a connection between these two Elizabeths?!

Todd: Tommy talked about his Survivor résumé, and I hated it. Why, Tommy? Why?

Mary: Does anyone truly know what a résumé is??

Todd: I’ve said it before and I will say it again: no one on Survivor knows what a résumé is.

And that’s it for this week on…

SURVIVOR:

ISLAND

OF

THE

IDOLS!!!