Before we start, we have a few real-world things to address. Normally, we try to post our recaps on the Thursday after the episode, but this past week, we did not feel comfortable doing so after the horrific events that took place at the Capitol. While our recaps are usually a nice mental break from current events, we did not feel it was appropriate to post one while we were all dealing with the fallout of the attack. 

And while we’re on the topic: The Book Squad Goals team absolutely condemns the actions of the white supremacist mob that stormed the Capitol on January 6th. We stand firmly against white supremacy, racism, antisemitism, and hate. We’re disgusted by the attempts we’ve seen to blame this attack on “the left” or Antifa, as well as the efforts to minimize the gravity of what happened at the Capitol. 

We hope all of you are staying safe and healthy.

On to the draft! As a reminder, we draft our teams after the first rose ceremony, and no one earns any points during this episode. Read to find out who we picked to carry us to victory this season!

Emily: I feel like we should start by talking about Matt James because we don't know this person. This is the first time we've met him on the show.

Susan: Yes. Here's what I learned in his intro package: He is a commercial real estate broker in NYC. He runs a nonprofit for children that does something with food? And his mom is white, and his dad is Black, but he was raised by his mother. 

Emily: I want to talk about one major thing that makes me apprehensive about Matt James as a bachelor.

Susan: He's not Mike?

Emily: Well okay two major things. I have a problem with having a lead who hasn't been on the show before. For a couple of reasons. Of course, we as an audience don't know him, so it's harder to connect with him. Most people who like Matt James only like him because he's "hot."

But more than that, he's not open to us either. The whole episode, he talked about how he needs to learn how to open up. 

Usually we see contestants struggle with "opening up" when they're not the lead, but rather just contestants on the show. By the time they're the lead, we already know their major tragedies, and they're already primed to be emotionally available and open to audiences. So the fact that we're starting from square one makes me iffy.

Susan: The thing that I was the most apprehensive about is that he said he's never been in love before. And normally, I might say, okay, that doesn't mean anything. But if Clare/Tayshia's season taught us anything, it's that casting people with life (and love) experience does make a difference in this expedited environment.

Emily: I agree with that too. We all know we're really just here to watch the women become BFFs though.

Susan: Yes. And on that note, should we draft?

Emily: We shall. I get to start this time. I'm so nervous about going first. I'm having a hard time deciding if i should go with my head or heart.

Susan: Classic Bachelor problem.

Emily: But I guess I'll just go with my gut and pick Katie first, because I'm very drawn to her.  And if her name doesn't ring a bell, listeners, she's the one who brought a vibrator.

Susan: I just have to say: I love that she stuck with that the whole night. She used the vibrator to clink her glass for a toast, and she used it to—as she put it—boop someone on the shoulder.

Emily: She seems fun, and I'm already enjoying her Instagram, as I mentioned in first impressions.

Susan: Yes, I'd hang out with her for sure. Okay, so this is a snake draft, so I get two picks now.

First, I'm going with someone who got some decent screen time, and I just feel like she'll be around for a while. I'm taking Bri as my first pick.

Emily: This is a really solid pick. She was one I had on my list for sure.

Susan: Also, she's maybe one of the prettiest people I've ever seen? Even in a lime green dress.

Emily: Look. This cast. Stunning.

Susan: And for my second pick, also based on screen time, I'm choosing Sarah. Also gorgeous, no surprise.

Emily: This is another really good pick. Okay even though she didn't get a lot of screen time night one, I still love her and have to stay true to my pre-night one gut, and I'm going with Kristin. 

Susan: Yes. We love her based on this tweet:

Emily: Now I have to make sure I pick the right one next because I didn't take notes. So I want to make sure this is the girl I'm thinking of...Okay it's Serena P. I had to make sure I picked the right Serena. 

Susan: Ah, I liked her. She seems really down to earth.

Emily: Also stunning. We're going to be saying this a lot. One Serena was high on my list and one was low, so...

Susan: My turn again. I'm going with someone I liked based on my first impression of her bio. Give me Jessenia.

Emily: I figured you'd grab her. I remember you saying she was a favorite.

Susan: Let's hope she proves me right.

Emily: Who you got next?

Susan: I'm going to go with Khaylah. Matt seemed pretty taken with her. I don't even need to say that she is gorgeous, but I will. She's super hot. The pickup truck and sweet tea toast one.

Emily: I really did think he might give her the first impression rose. Because they seemed to connect on that.

Susan: Ditto. Who you got?

Emily: Okay so I'm going with Rachael next.

Susan: Very solid pick.

Emily: Because Jimmy Kimmel's wife predicted she would win. And she's usually right.

Susan: That's usually a very good sign.I haven't seen her predictions yet!

Emily: I researched! Barely!

Susan: Haha, I think even based on the time she got, she's a frontrunner.

Emily: Next up I'm taking Chelsea. This is a pick of the heart. She seems really cool.

Susan: Matt James said some stuff I didn't love this episode, but one thing he said that I very much agreed with was "She is WEARING that dress."

Emily: Yes she won best night one dress for sure.

Susan: My turn. This is just someone I liked on a personal level, but I don't have a lot of faith she'll go that far. I would like MJ, please.

Emily: Not the dildo. The woman.

Susan: Right. The woman with the fantastic hair.

Emily: She has wonderful hair.

Susan: Next, I would like to take my fellow 32-year-old, Magi. 

Emily: She seems really cool.

Susan: My note for her was "Is she a goddess?"

Emily: Yes. The answer is yes. My turn now. I can't believe the first impression rose has fallen so far, so I've got to take her. I'm going with Abigail. 

Susan: She's delightful. Her reaction to getting the first impression rose was so lovely.

Emily: I know. She surprised me because I wasn't so sure about her based on her bio.

Susan: And she got the first kiss! Well, first consensual kiss. Who’s next?

Emily: Okay next, I'm going to take Mari. She's the one from Puerto Rico.

Susan: I think Mari has dark horse potential. Because after her limo exit, Matt said he was speechless. That feels like something. 

Emily: Yes. And I think we're going to hear more about her story. At the very least.

Susan: Apparently she knows Alayah from Peter's season. I assume from pageanting.

Emily: Right. Ok who you got?

Susan: Let's go with Kaili. I feel like if she wore lingerie night one, she's at least seen as a threat and will stay a little while and make some waves. And I don't mean to objectify these women, but dayum. 

Emily: Hahaha.

Susan: Okay, next, I'm taking Anna. I feel like her caffeinated hyperactivity is going to get her into some drama. Also, she's a fellow copywriter. Hey, girl! 

It should be noted that she and Alana had on the same dress. And production put them right by each other during the rose ceremony. 

Emily: Oh shit, and they didn't say anything? You can see how well I was paying attention. This bodes well for my team.

Susan: Yeah. And when Matt said "Alana," Anna thought he said "Anna," which made it even more obvious.

Emily: Oh yes I remember that part.

Susan: Your turn. Who's next?

Emily: Okay I'm taking Kit the "fashion entrepreneur." 

Susan: Kit was interesting. And 21. 

Emily: I think I'll take Lauren next just to sweep the attorneys. Unless there's one I missed. 

Susan: I think there were only two, and you've got them. Good move, Martin.

Emily: I like smart women.

Susan: I'm here to take Pieper. She said her dad didn't want her to change her name when she got married, and her last name happens to be James, so that's cool. But also I just support this opinion coming from her dad. 

Emily: A very good late pick, despite the way her dad decided to spell her name.

Susan: Now it's getting very tough. I'm going to pick the woman who spoke my favorite line of the night (which I hope will be my team name, so I'll save it). Sydney.

Emily: I can't wait to hear what it is. Okay so this pick comes from my research, but I believe Chris Harrison (or Bachelor Fantake) said this girl would be crying a lot? And that's Marylynn.

Susan: Hey, crying equals points in this game. A good reason to pick.

Emily: Exactly. Okay, I think I'm just going to go with Serena C. next. Because I might as well have both Serenas to avoid confusion.

Susan: I used this strategy with the Blakes, the Tylers, and the Zac(h)s last season, and I believe it paid off. 

Emily: Yes I'm stealing that strategy.

Susan: I actually can't believe you haven't already picked this next person. You're usually very strategic on the drama point picks. It's Queen Victoria.

Emily: Hahaha. I'm just wondering how long that can last. 

Susan: Oh, it won't be long. Okay, we’re down to two women.

Emily: So who are you leaving me with?

Susan: Well, I'm going to go with Illeana, only because she was called out before Alana in the rose ceremony. *shrug* 

Emily: The balls girl.

Susan: Aw shit I didn't realize that was her.

Emily: Hahaha. Oh WELL.

Susan: WHY did she have a giant meatball though? Just in her bare hand. It's a whole pandemic out there, and I realize it isn't spread like that, but gross. Your final girl is a food girl too.

Emily: Oh is mine the one who Lady and the Tramped? I was just like "YOU DIDN'T PUT ANY SAUCE ON THAT."

Susan: Yep, you’re left with Alana. She just left him standing with a bowl of pasta.

Emily: Wait, which one brought him pizza, speaking of food?

Susan: MJ.

Emily: Can I just say—I don't think there was pizza in that box.

Susan: Nah, there couldn't have been! He held the box all floppy!

Emily: Exactly. I was like wow you couldn't even bring real pizza?

Susan: If there was pizza, you'd protect that pizza.

Emily: Right? If a contestant brought me a real pizza, first impression rose. Immediately.

Susan: 100%.

Emily: I'd be like where is Chris? I need that rose now. But like... dry ass pasta? No sauce? Girl.

Susan: Maybe the meatball and the pasta were supposed to be combined. We'll never know.

Emily: Maybe. Still... NO SAUCE.

Susan: Not a drop. Also, for the record, Alicia was ROBBED.

Emily: YES. WHAT THE FUCK. Maybe my team should be Dry Ass Pasta. I don't really have a team name picked out. Though I feel like it should be dildo related. 

Susan: Emily, you have to use the phrase "Tapped By a Dildo." ("It was okay. Until I got tapped by a dildo." –Mari)

Emily: Okay that's a good name. Team Tapped By A Dildo it is. Thanks.

Susan: This is a longer team name, but I loved it when Sydney said it: On the Brink of Mental Ruin 

Emily: Same.

Susan: Right?

Emily: Well that was exciting. How do you feel about your team?

Susan: I feel solid about four of them maybe. So about how I usually feel. You?

Emily: I'm less sure than I usually am. I think because we know so little about Matt, it's hard to know what he's going to go for. Aside from Christian AF.

Susan: Right. What does this man like? Besides stumbling over the word "vulnerable"?

Emily: I hate it.

Susan: That was Tayshia's thing. You can't just come in here off Tyler C.'s TikTok and take Tayshia's thing.

Emily: Yeah.... Matt has to do a lot of work to win me over at this point. I'm not impressed. Don't even get me started on leading everyone in prayer.

Susan: I hope I become more impressed though because I would like to like him. Oh, let's just share a quick article about the prayer thing that sums up some of my problems with it.

If we were fully recapping this episode, we'd definitely dig into this a little more, but I have a feeling this season will give us more opportunities.

Emily: Yes. And I need time to really gather my thoughts because at the moment, my feelings are un-nuanced rage. 

Susan: I have no doubt it will come up again. Here are the teams: 

Team Tapped By A Dildo (Emily’s Team)

Katie
Kristin
Serena P.
Rachael
Chelsea
Abigail 
Mari
Kit
Lauren
Marylynn
Serena C.
Alana

Team On the Brink of Mental Ruin (Susan’s Team)

Bri
Sarah
Jessenia
Khaylah
MJ
Magi
Kaili
Anna
Pieper
Sydney
Victoria
Illeana

Susan: I'm excited to take this journey with you, Emily. Even though we just got finished with our last journey a few days ago.

Emily: Yes let's try to open up and fall in love and other buzzwords.