How are we doing, Bachelor Nation/Goalies? Before we get into this episode, we just want to give a brief content warning. This episode includes a frank and honest discussion of depression, suicide, and suicidal thoughts. While ABC did not give this content warning before the episode, it is in there, and it’s a lot. If you are triggered by this type of conversation, you might want to skip this episode and this recap.

Here’s link with information and a guide to suicide prevention/help resources. We hope you’re taking care of yourselves, and we truly care about your mental health!

Now with that, on with the recap.

Emily: We open on the dudes complaining about the drama between Noah and Bennett, but this whole thing feels really fake. As if this has been the first drama in the house. Let me look back over my notes… Let’s see. In Episode 2, Riley and Yosef got into it on a date. Riley says, “There is no we. There is no us. I want to get that across to you. There is no me and you.” In Episode 3, Bennett roasts Dale pretty hard. Ed and Bennett got into a whole thing with Chasen that lasted multiple episodes. Okay. I am seeing a common denominator in a lot of this drama, and it is Bennett. 5 points to Bennett for being the true shit-stirrer of the season.

Susan: But Emily, he has so much emotional intelligence. How can it *possibly* be his fault? He is fake-flabbergasted. 

Emily: Tayshia complains about listening to the guys fight about high school drama, but she’s also supposedly the one who wanted to have this little meeting to figure out what was going on with them. I’m also a little frustrated that Tayshia asked what was in the box and that was our big cliffhanger of the last episode, and then she never asked what was in the box.

Susan: I know we joked about “What’s in the booooox?” from Se7en last week, but really, if anyone on this show would have a human head in a box, wouldn’t it be Bennett? 

Emily: Tayshia tells Bennett, “You don’t have the right to tell somebody else that I won’t end up with them.” Bennett takes this as his opportunity to start explaining EQ to Tayshia in the exact same words he used with Noah. And now I’m wondering how often he’s used this speech on people when he wants to feel better than them. Tayshia is not into it. She looks supremely bored. 

Susan: I think you mean he mansplained it. Because this was mansplaining if I’ve ever seen it. Because Bennett read this book two weeks ago and now he’s an expert. Much like all the white women in America are suddenly vaccine experts because they watched some YouTube videos. ANYWAY.

When she talks to Noah, I get major big sister/little brother vibes. I know part of this whole “drama” is about how young Noah is, but...he does seem really young and inexperienced when contrasted with Tayshia. Noah explains that Bennett is condescending and that he thinks it’ll be a matter of time before Bennett speaks to Tayshia in that same manner. He cries a little for 2 points. She ends the conversation the same way she did with Bennett: she says, “K.”

Emily: Now that Tayshia has talked to both men, it’s time to make her decision. This is so pointless because as viewers we all know that anyone who is sent on a 2-on-1 is not long for this world. So whoever gets to stay is still going to go home, likely very soon. But sure. Let’s play along and act like we’re invested. Tayshia says to Bennett, “You have made me feel heard this entire time and you made me feel special. I’ve truly enjoyed getting to know you… but it worries me that you’re condescending with the way that you talk to people. And that you question my intentions.” Tayshia tells Noah she’s also worried he’s not ready for marriage. But… she sends Bennett home.

Susan: Bennett is once again in disbelief. On his walk to the car, he says (very dramatically) “Is this...really goodbye?” Tayshia confirms that he is indeed leaving, and he tries AGAIN to explain how he would NEVER question her integrity or decision-making skills. Dude, read her face. She is done with this conversation. Be gone.

Emily: While Bennett is busy being shocked at his very expected departure, Noah is inside chugging tic tacs. It actually didn’t occur to me until later that Noah might be eating all those tic tacs because he thought he was going to get to make out with Tayshia. The idea of Noah and Tayshia being romantic together is so deeply removed from my mind.

Susan: Noah stands up excitedly when she walks in the room and Tayshia says, “No, don’t be smiling. That wasn’t like, a victory for you by any means.” See? Big sister. She decides not to give him the rose right now because she has to think it over.

Emily: Noah gets ready for the upcoming rose ceremony, hoping he’s going to get another chance to convince Tayshia he’s ready for marriage. Meanwhile, all the other dudes were just really hoping both Noah and Bennett would go home.

Susan: This happened to Mykenna last season, and then Peter immediately sent her home at the rose ceremony five whole minutes later. (Also, hot BiP prediction: Noah and Mykenna. You heard it here first, folks.) Tayshia comes in for the cocktail party and is like, “Can we please just have a good night?” This woman is tired.

Emily: Riley pulls Tayshia aside first, and he’s got a surprise anniversary cake for her because apparently they’ve been boyfriend and girlfriend for one whole week. I don’t know about all that, but I do know I’d keep a man around if he brought me cake. They kiss, so Riley gets 2 points.

Susan: Zac—who is now my favorite, by the way—brings her a framed wedding photo from their date, and they look very cozy. He tells her he’s ready and that he has her back, and they make out for 2 points.

Emily: Zac seems cool, but I’m also having a hard time being excited about him. The only one left that I really care about is Ivan. I’m just not emotionally connecting with anyone else, although they all seem… fine, I guess? I’m still not over losing Joe. Anyway, Tayshia also makes out with Ben and Brendan for 2 points each. This all just happened really fast to remind us that Ben and Brendan are also frontrunners. 

Susan: JoJo arrives to speak Chris Harrison’s lines verbatim (I forgot she was here), and it’s time to give out some roses. There are five to give out. Zac and Ben already have one. Roses go to: Brendan, Riley, Blake, Ivan and...drumroll please...Noah. Ed, Demar and Spencer are going home.

Emily: So basically my whole team just went home this episode. Here’s where Susan starts to take the lead. Ivan, I’m counting on you. 

Susan: JoJo visits the men to tell them that next week is hometown week. This feels fast. I am shook. 

Emily: I am also shook. This whole condensed season thing has my Bachelorette clock all askew. I don’t even know who these men are, do I? I’m befumbled. I need a nap.

Susan: Ben gets the first one-on-one date card for 20 points. After JoJo leaves, Zac gets emotional at the idea of Tayshia meeting his family. He cries for a quick 2 points. I love him. I hope he doesn’t do something terrible and disappoint me. 

Emily: Meh. Where is Ivan? I guess let’s get to this date.

Susan: Ben gets 3 points for a hug-and-pick-up maneuver, but this wasn’t a full run-and-jump. 

Emily: I’m glad you noticed this, because I went back and watched a couple of time to analyze how much of a run-and-jump this was. And I agree with your assessment. Yes, these recaps are serious.

Susan: JoJo arrives on a scooter to tell them she set up an “oasis” for them (what?), but they have to have a scavenger hunt to find it. They scooter around to find clues all over the resort (it’s actually pretty cute).

Emily: At one point, they have to jump in a fountain to get a clue, and Ben takes off his pants to get in. This is when I realized Ben might just be a naked person.

Susan: Finally they get to sit down and talk outside the spa. 

Emily: Sitting outside of a spa with champagne is… I guess… an oasis? I feel like JoJo oversold this one. But anyway. As they talk, both Ben and Tayshia come to realizations about one another. Ben says he was hoping he’d find someone through this experience, but he had no idea it would happen so quickly. Tayshia calls Ben a tough cookie to crack. Which is not a saying. But now I want a cookie.

Susan: At dinner, Tayshia is determined to get Ben to open up. She says she can tell there is maybe some hurt behind his perfect exterior. Ben says he grew up in an environment where perfection was expected, and while he had everything he needed materially, he lacked what he needed emotionally. He mentions his sister saved his life in more ways than one, and Tayshia asks him to elaborate. 2018 was a rough year for him because he left what he thought was his lifelong career, broke his back, was feeling lonely and lost in a new city, and felt his life was very dark. He says he didn’t know how to speak up and say he needed things, but he did confide in his sister. 

He pauses for a while and is clearly struggling with how much more he should share. Eventually, he reveals that he had two failed suicide attempts in 2018 and 2019, and that the only thing that got him through was his sister, but she doesn’t even know this. 

Emily: Ben says, “I didn’t want to burden anyone with my problems, and I thought the easiest way was just not be around.” This was really heartbreaking, and it felt kind of wrong to hear this confession from being, seeing as how his own sister didn’t even know about this yet. I do really hope Ben sat down and talked with her about this before this aired on national television. Maybe this ended up being a good way for Ben to finally open up about his true emotions, and maybe that gave him a window to discuss this stuff more openly with his sister. I really hope so. I would hate to think he was coerced into saying this stuff and later regretted it. 

Susan: I thought Tayshia responded to this really well. She says, “I see you and I hear you” and says how happy she is that he is there with her and thanks him for sharing with her. Often, the lead responds to a contestant’s revelation of trauma with a “well that’s what makes you so special” kind of response, and it’s not great. (Colton did this when Caelynn told her she was raped, for example.) I also really appreciated that Ben talked about being “intentional and aggressive” in his therapy. This is an important conversation to be had on this show, and it feels weird to give points for it, but that’s the way this scoreboard works. Ben gets 5 points. Proud of you, Ben.

Emily: Yes, I love hearing any positivity and openness about therapy, especially coming from a man on this show. I’m really appreciating this open examination of how toxic masculinity has been harmful to him personally. Even if he didn’t use those words, that’s what he was talking about. It’s almost like when you cast older men, they are more self-aware and mature enough to examine themselves and their problems honestly. I hope we continue to skew older on this show for this reason, among many others. 

Anyway, of course Ben gets the rose for 10 points. Even if Tayshia didn’t adore Ben (which she does), what kind of monster sends a man home after such an emotional confession? Then they get a private concert because the Lord is testing me. 5 points. 

Susan: The group date card arrives for Zac, Brendan, Ivan, Noah and Riley. It reads “The truth is that I’m falling in love.” It seems like this means Blake will get the other one-on-one date, but since he doesn’t actually go on the date in this episode, no points for now.

Emily: So this group date is a polygraph test. Having watched ton of legit (surely) lie-detector episodes on Love Island, I can tell you that this polygraph test looks fake as hell. But as Riley would point out, polygraph tests are kind of fake anyway, so I guess who cares?

Susan: Notable moments from the men: Noah gets an “inconclusive” on whether a woman has ever faked an orgasm with him; Brendan gets “inconclusive” on if he’s ready for Tayshia to meet his family; Zac admits he has cheated on someone and says he might have already fallen in love with Tayshia; Riley gets flagged for a lie on his own name.

Emily: You left out my boy Ivan. Apparently he’s been aroused while hanging out with Tayshia. Shocker. I’m sure I’d be aroused hanging out with Tayshia too. 

Susan: At the cocktail party, Tayshia pulls Zac aside first to get to the bottom of his cheating scandal. She explains why this is such a huge deal to her, and while I get that her husband cheating probably resulted in major trust issues, saying “I won’t date a cheater” is a little extreme, in my opinion. Cheating in one relationship does not automatically mean you’ll cheat in another. Anyway, all this worry is for nothing because it turns out, Zac cheated on his 6th grade girlfriend when he French kissed another girl at Bowl-a-Rama. OMG. 

Emily: I don’t know. To me, I think it’s clear the reason Tayshia got so upset about this is because Zac may be THE ONE, and so she’s getting scared about any tiny red flag that might come up with him. I think if it had been Noah or Riley who had cheated, she wouldn’t have cared nearly as much.

My suspicions are confirmed when Zac tells Tayshia he’s falling in love with her for 10 points and then (gasp) she says it back to him, netting Zac another 20 points!

Is this over? I guess let’s see what she’s talking about with the other guys.

Susan: Ivan says he is hesitant about proposing because he’s only been in love once before, but he already feels really strongly for Tayshia. They kiss for 2 points. Brendan is also hesitant about a proposal because he wants to make sure he only does it one more time, but he says he could really picture Tayshia in his future.

Emily: This Riley conversation is another pretty big one. Riley tells Tayshia he is nervous about introducing her to his family because there’s still so much he has to explain about his family situation. He admits that he was named after his father Dwayne, and then he had a falling out with his father and he figured things out with his mother. Riley tells Tayshia that his dad “took some things from [his mom] that didn’t belong to him outright.” He says, “My mother deserves so much. We missed so much time.” This is so rough, and I can’t imagine how hard that must be for Riley. 

Susan: Tayshia says all of her relationships have progressed on this date, but she isn’t ready to give out the rose, absolutely robbing Zac of points he deserved. When she opens the gate to go back to her suite, we hear a cryptic “Hello, Tayshia.” It’s fucking Bennett.

Emily: This was so horrifying and gave me serious date rape vibes. Bennett tells Tayshia that when he was leaving he realized something and he couldn’t leave without letting her know. He’s in love with her. Whew. I guess he gets 15 points for this, but I hate it.

Susan: This is truly wild and so obviously insincere. The best part of the whole thing is that he tries to kiss her before he leaves, and she gives him the cheek and says, “Nice try.” 

Emily: Is that the best part? I feel like you mean the worst part. Anyway, Tayshia (for some reason) says she needs more time to decide if she’s going to let Bennett stay or not. She says she’s so confused. Please. We all know where this is going. For now, we’ll have to wait as this is where the show leaves us for this week. Here’s the point breakdown for this episode.

Team I Just Met My Husband (Emily)

Riley: 2

Ivan: 2

Demar: (ELIMINATED)

Bennett: 22 (ELIMINATED?)

Ed: (ELIMINATED)

Spencer: (ELIMINATED)

Last Week Total: 383

This Episode Total: 26

Total: 409

Team Reckless on Instagram (Susan)

Blake: 

Ben: 45

Brendan: 2

Zac: 34

Noah: 

Last Week Total: 248

This Episode Total: 81

Total: 329

Next week we get TWO WHOLE EPISODES, but we’ll still be giving you ONE WHOLE RECAP on Friday for both episodes, because it’s 2020 and WE BUSY.