Sorry for the delay on the recap this week, Bachelorette fans! Susan and Emily needed extra time to recover from this particularly emotional episode. But we’re here, and we’re ready to cry all over again.

Please note trigger warnings for sexual assault, cancer, alcoholism… it’s quite an episode, but we’re here to guide you through.

Susan: We pick up where we left off last week, with Karl going off the rails. Listen, he’s not 100% sure that 100% of the guys are here for 100% the right reasons 100% of the time. 

Emily: Yeah, so, just in case everyone forgot, the show wants to remind us that Karl’s an asshole. Katie comes in and tells the guys that she’s done with all of this, she doesn’t want to talk to any of them anymore, and she’ll see them at the rose ceremony. She storms out crying, and Greg follows after her immediately because surely she didn’t mean Greg. I don’t think we gave Karl points last week for making the lead cry, so he gets them now (5 points). 

Susan: While Greg checks on Katie, Karl shadow boxes, and I just know he does this before he goes on stage at all of his “motivational speaking” engagements. 

Emily: And while Karl is punching the air, the other guys are talking about how they have to protect their queen. So, like, frankly, they’re all weirding me out right now. 

Susan: Before giving out roses, Katie says she’s confused (rightfully so), but she’s going to follow her heart. Greg, Andrew S., and Thomas already have roses from last week. Katie gives out roses to David, Hunter, Conor C., and Mike P. When Mike P. accepts his rose, he pulls a first-ever (?) franchise move.

Emily: Yes, this is a first-ever move, and I can’t decide whether I hate it or love it. But since once again, neither of us chose this dessert-hating fool for our team, no one gets any points. Mike P says, “As a unit, we want to protect your heart. What Karl said wasn’t the truth, and as a unit, we want you to know that.”  Katie asks if they all feel the same way, and they nod. She excuses herself to go talk to Tayshia and Kaitlyn. She tells them she was planning on keeping Karl [because a producer told her to] but now she’s not so sure. 

Susan: When Katie returns, she hands out roses to Michael, Connor B., Quartney, Tre, Justin, Andrew M., Christian, Josh, Brendan, James, and Aaron. That means Karl, Garrett, Kyle, and John (?!?!?!) are going home. #JusticeForJohn

Emily: Team What’s in the Box takes a mighty blow at this rose ceremony, losing three people total. Team Crazy Cat Lady is holding strong, only losing Karl. Thanks Karl for the points, and goodbye.

Susan: It’s time to get right into the first group date. Going on this date, from Team Crazy Cat Lady, are: Aaron, Quartney, Connor B., David, Justin, Hunter, and Brendan. And from Team What’s in the Box, we have just James and Thomas. It’s not looking good for my team. 

The date card says, “Love is about honesty, and I need 100%.” The guys are very distressed that it did not end with “♡ Katie.” 

Emily: Yeah, I think they were reading too much into that, but whatever. Anyway, it’s date time, and Nick Viall’s here!! The guys all sit around in a circle, and Nick introduces the idea behind the date. “I’ve been in love and had my heart broken, so trust me that I know what you’re going through,” Nick says. “I’ve also been in Katie’s shoes. Our biggest fear is getting to know people and falling in love with them but not getting to know everything about them.” Katie says “We all have a past. We all make mistakes. No one’s perfect.” So basically, this is just going to be a rapid-fire, round-robin “tell me your sob story or gtfo” type date. Because why save the gut-wrenching honesty for a 1-on-1?

Susan: It looks like a meeting of Bros Anonymous. Justin, who is my new favorite voice of the season, says “This looks like some sort of intervention.” Let’s get to the “red flags.”

Emily: I really need Katie to give Justin a 1-on-1 date stat. I love him. 2 points to Justin for having the best facial expressions for this whole episode.

But on with the emotions! Hunter is crying because he didn’t make his family a priority and they drifted apart. He explains, “I failed at marriage. And that doesn’t just affect me and her. It affects two amazing kids. I never imagined divorce for myself. That’s just absurd. I tell you that because when I’m in that position again I’ll cherish that.” 2 points for Hunter.

Susan: We kind of speed through the rest of them. Aaron’s dad had a stroke, Justin chose his career over love, Quartney broke someone’s trust (cheated?)...and then we have Thomas. Oh, Thomas. Thomas utters several variations of “everything happens for a reason” and confesses that he came here for the wrong reasons. * gasp * But now that he’s here, he really wants to marry Katie. Don’t worry—he’ll tell you any red flags you want to know about. Except any that you ask him about.

Emily: Community fans, this whole thing reminded me of that scene where everyone in drama class has to relive their traumas, and Troy’s trauma is that he was popular in high school, and no one is impressed. 

Before Connor B. even gets his turn to share his trauma in the trauma circle, he’s crying (2 points). He says he’s terrified to share. “This is something I would have shared with you in private,” he says to Katie. “But I guess the reason I wanted to talk to you about it is because I care about you. There was a time in my life when I was 24, 25 and I was in grad school and I was supposed to get a PhD and I hated it and I was miserable and I dropped out. I was working as a musician at a piano bar and I drank for free… and it became more of my life, the drinking. I started to get angrier and angrier when I was drunk. Black-out drunk. It all culminated one night.” I really thought this confession was going to be more about his alcoholism, but ultimately, he’s most upset that he cheated on his girlfriend one night when he was drunk.  “I tried to make amends where I could,” he says. “But I really hurt somebody, and I have a lot of guilt about that.”

Susan: The build-up and the payoff of this story did not match up at all. I fully expected him to say he hit his girlfriend. I’m relieved it was not that. 

Emily: Honestly? I thought he was going to say he killed someone.

Susan: Katie decides to share something personal too, and it sounds like she wasn’t really planning to talk about this, but I am glad she did. Ten years ago on New Year’s Eve, Katie was sexually assaulted. She blamed herself for a long time, and she developed an unhealthy relationship with sex. She wasn’t interested in doing it and wasn’t comfortable talking about it either. She now understands that it was not her fault, and she has since done a lot of work to get to where she is now. 

Emily: This confession was so powerful. I teared up when she said, “It’s not my fault, because consent is important, and I did not give it that night.” Tearing up just typing that again now.

Susan: I liked her decision to share this for a couple of reasons. First, it contextualizes her whole “sex positive” narrative and gives us a fuller picture of her relationship to sex. Second, she hits on some really important points when she talks about the aftermath of her assault. Because she didn’t want to believe what had happened, she tried to form a relationship with the person who assaulted her. This is so common, and I bet a lot of women watching this felt seen and understood at that moment. 

Emily: I totally agree with you. And I just want to say I have so enjoyed getting to know Katie better this season. I feel like there’s so much we didn’t get to see of her on Matt James’ season. I’m really enjoying her as the lead, but also she’s just someone I think seems like a kind, genuine person who would be fun to hang out with IRL too. She’s definitely shooting up to my top fave bachelorettes (along with two others who are also on this season. Tayshia and Kaitlyn, we love you). 

Susan: Back at the hotel, Michael, Mike, and Andrew M. take a little workout break to have some real talk. Michael tells them that he needs some real alone time with Katie to tell them about his late wife. Mike and Andrew M. are super supportive.

Emily: Michael says, “My life flipped upside down at a time when we had a little child. I’m doing this to take some risks and start to look at a future for myself and my son.”

Susan: Michael gets 3 points for sharing this with the guys and 2 points for crying, and Andrew M. gets 2 points for friendship. (Mike would get some too, but again, he’s on nobody’s team.) 

Emily: Again, that’s what you get for hating dessert, Mike. No one cares about your points. Anyway, onto the evening portion of the date, where Katie shows up wearing a giant coat that rivals Tom Brady’s in its giantness. Like, where did this coat come from? Is it hers? Is it one of the guys’? IS IT GREG’S?

Susan: The evening portion of the date kicks off with some kissing points. We see Justin and Katie kiss (can we see more of Justin on our screens, please?!) for 2 points. Connor B. tells Katie he hasn’t felt this way in a long time, and they also kiss (2 points). 

When Katie sits down with Thomas, she asks him about that “big list of red flags” he mentioned. And again he’s like “I’ll tell you anything.” And she’s like, “Okay...then tell me.” And then he gives her some alphabet soup of platitudes and non-answers. 

Emily: Thomas says, “In getting here, I didn’t ask for you. When two people come together and have a connection, it’s for a reason and I’m going to do everything I have to do, every single day.” Katie’s onto it though. She’s like, ok, but say something real. Thomas has nothing real to say. Eventually, Katie (wisely) excuses herself to go talk to some hotter dudes.

You know what though? Thomas is not happy with how that conversation went. (You don’t say). So he’s determined to get more time with her. While Aaron is chatting with Katie, Thomas paces in the background like a tiger waiting to pounce on his prey. It’s very unsettling. 

Finally, Katie agrees to speak to Thomas again because this shit’s just getting weird. And you know what Thomas says? He has a strong pull to her. Okay… why? Name one thing you like about her that’s specific. Or tell her something about yourself. Right around this time, Katie’s probably thinking, “OMG KARL WAS RIGHT IT WAS THOMAS ALL ALONG” but oh well. 

Susan: Back at the hotel, the one-on-one date card arrives for Michael A.! Yay! 20 points for Michael! 

Emily: We’re all very happy for sweet Michael. His date card says, “Love is an adventure.”

Susan: On the group date, Aaron confronts Thomas about interrupting him. He asks, “So you’re saying your time is worth more than mine?” And then Aaron responds, “Yes.” Then he tells the men that he told Katie that he’s falling in love with her, which he absolutely did not. 3 points to Thomas for this wild ass move.

Emily: There’s a bunch of bickering back and forth about this bullshit that Thomas pulled, and Thomas just can’t keep his lies straight. Aaron accuses Thomas of “grinning like a clown from a Stephen King novel.” Could they not say Pennywise for trademark reasons? Because that’s literally the only clown. 

Whatever the case may be, I want to give Aaron 3 points for once again being in the middle of the drama. Aaron is starting to low key seem like the true drama queen here. But none of this matters, because it’s my boy Connor B. who gets the group date rose (10 points). Yay to Connor B! 

Susan: Katie and Michael meet up in the desert and ride around in a dune buggy. Is that what a dune buggy is? Anyway, then they hang out on a picnic blanket and have some champagne. Michael says he is thankful for the time with her because he needs some time to share his story. He talks about his son and how he thinks of this time away from him as taking a pause to invest in himself because his son “deserves the happiest dad.” Awwww. When he asks Katie if he can kiss her, she responds, “Abso-fucking-lutely,” and he gets 2 points for the make out (+3 for a butt grab).

Emily: Back at the house, everyone hates Thomas, and Thomas looks like he’s not wearing pants.

At dinner, Katie wants to tell Michael how close she feels to him already. She says it feels like they’ve been talking for a month and are finally meeting, and Michael says “Like pen pals,” because he’s an innocent baby. 

Susan: Now Michael is ready to tell Katie his story. He recalls meeting his wife, Laura, and knowing they would get married. They were together for 16 years. They were married in 2012, and then a few years later, they had their son James. Seven months after James was born, Laura was diagnosed with breast cancer. 

Emily: I just want everyone to know I was sobbing this whole time and my husband had to hold me. I just kept thinking about how his wife died in 2019 and how that seems so, so recent. I can’t imagine having to go on TV and speak so eloquently about such a tremendous loss, especially one that happened IN 2019! Like, Michael is amazing.

Reflecting on his last moments with his wife, he says, “She was in a room full of people she loved. And on that day I was happy she wasn’t in pain anymore.” Michael is crying (2 points). Katie is crying (5 points). I have drowned my couch in tears (no points, just pain). 

Susan: At the end of his story, Michael says, “I know what it’s like to love. I know what it’s like to give everything. And I have finally gotten to this place where I’m ready to open up my heart.” I’m fully crying at this point. I think what Katie says to him here is really important too. She tells him how beautiful his love story is and that she would never feel jealous or like she is second-best if they were to build their own relationship. And he says that it would be his job to make his partner feel special and like their love was its own special thing. I LOVE MICHAEL. 

Emily: Of course, Michael gets the rose because Katie isn’t a monster (10 points). She tells him, “I know every rose I’m offering you I’m also offering to James.” Have I mentioned how much I love Katie? After he accepts her rose, they go to the rooftop to make out (horizontally) under the stars (1 point added for the horizontal makeout). Katie says, “This could be the start of me falling in love with Michael, and it’s so unexpected.”

Susan: Then we journey away from this beautiful, cathartic cry to drop in on Aaron calling Thomas a “sociopath” and a “psycho.” The shift in maturity levels from Michael’s date to this conversation has my head spinning. Several of the men discover that Thomas told them all different versions of the “I told her I’m falling in love” story. A confrontation is a-brewing.

Emily: Hunter’s like let’s address this right now. So 3 points to Hunter for getting mixed up in the drama. The guys all gather round in a couch formation to have it out with Thomas. Hunter says, “There’s flipping and flopping and constant smiles, and it feels fraudulent. It’s like a campaign, like you want to be Bachelor. Have you considered that?” 

Thomas says, “I would never do anything to hurt you so to feel that I came across in any way that this is the result…” What. Literally what.

Hunter says, “See, that’s the problem. I feel really manipulated and it makes me really worried about what’s going on with Katie. Have you ever thought you could be the Bachelor? Has that crossed your mind?”

Thomas responds with more gibberish.

Susan: Ok, let’s just get one thing straight: Every single person who ever signed up for this show has thought about being the lead. It’s the best-case scenario for any contestant. But like, don’t say it out loud because you will never be the Bachelor now, Thomas. 

Emily: How will this all be resolved? We’ll have to wait to find out… on Monday! For now, let’s tally up the points. 

Team Crazy Cat Lady

Connor B. - 14

Greg - 

Aaron - 3

Andrew S. - 

Karl - 5 Eliminated

Justin - 4

David

Brendan 

Quartney

Hunter - 5

Conor C.

This Week: 31
Last Week: 79
Total: 110

Team What’s in the Box

Thomas - 3

Michael - 48

John

Tre

James

Andrew M. - 2

Garrett

Josh

Kyle 

Christian

This Week: 53
Last Week: 18
Total: 71

Team What’s in the Box? is catching up… what will happen next week!