We’re back with another week of The Bachelorette and another recap! Unfortunately Blake is back too, but we’re just going to deal with it.

PLEASE NOTE: Trigger warning for discussion of sexual assault.

Let’s get to the episode.

Susan: We open on a peaceful scene of the men stretching, walking on one another’s backs, and cuddling. Now that Thomas is gone, they think all is calm in Bacheloretteland. Everyone is now here for the right reasons.™ 

Emily: It’s like none of these people have ever watched this show before. When one villain disappears, another one will always emerge. Speaking of cuddling, the sweet friendship snuggles between Connor and Greg made me realize that while we often award points for friendship, we don’t have an official rule about it. So moving forward, we will be offering up Connor and Greg points for displays of friendship. Because we love seeing moments of friendship on this show. So both Connor and Greg get 2 points. 

Emily: While the dudes are enjoying each other’s company and generally feeling ok about life, Katie and Kaitlyn are chatting. As you all know, Kaitlyn had Nick Viall join her season several episodes into the process. Katie asked how that went for her. Well, Katie, Kaitlyn was slut shamed for having sex with Nick outside of the fantasy suite, and several men showed angry tell-tale signs of toxic masculinity. But you know. It went great. 

Susan: Tayshia visits the men to tell them that their journey is about to change. “A man” she knows reached out to her. It’s “a man” she trusts, “a man” with good intentions. Who is this man? She doesn’t tell them and floats away silently. 

Emily: It’s clear Aaron has been watching the show, because as soon as Blake walks in, Aaron looks him dead in his bushy beard and says, “Blake.” Blake is apologetic to the guys right off the bat. He says he knows the guys don’t want him there, and he understands if they’re pissed off. Michael asks why Blake came halfway through and not the beginning. The answer? Well, obviously the producers wanted Blake to come in later for the drama, but since Blake can’t say that, he mumbles something about Katie being respectful. 

Susan: The date card arrives, and we all know who’s about to get this, right? The card says, “Blake, let’s make up for lost time. Love, Katie” Blake says, “This is obviously best-case scenario for me.” LOL. 20 points to Blake. 

Emily: It’s like as soon as the date card arrives and Blake knows he’s not going to have to hang with these dudes all day, all the apologetic energy is out the window. Blake’s just straight up like, “Well I gotta go get ready for my hot date. With Katie. Who is hot. On a date. With me. Byeeee!”

When Katie comes to pick Blake up for their date, she has a seat to chat with the guys. She says, “Obviously we have Blake here. I just want to open up the floor and see how you all are doing about it.” She also tells them, “I have to follow my heart in everything I do, both good and bad.” So she admits inviting Blake to join the group is bad. The camera zooms in on Justin and he’s too mad to even give the camera a good reaction shot. That’s how you know things are bad.

Susan: Katie and Blake ride horses together and talk about travel. Did you know that Blake has been to Africa, like, a lot? The whole continent. He also has an appreciation for “all of this,” this being the general landscape of New Mexico. 

Emily: So I had a lot of problems with this. First of all, yes, Blake apparently thinks Africa is one giant country, which is weird. But also big white dude energy. He also totally makes the conversation about himself. Katie is telling him about the places she’s visited, and instead of asking her more about her experiences, he says, “Have you been to Africa?” This is clearly just a set up for him to talk about himself and brag about his trips. Again, big white dude energy.

Susan: They sit down and talk about how “easy” and “natural” their connection is. They kiss for 2 points, and then they get an extra 1 point for a horizontal makeout that’s a literal roll in the hay.

The group date card arrives, and it’s for Greg, Quartney, Aaron, Mike P., Michael A., Andrew M., Josh, Justin, Brendan, James, Connor, Tre, and Hunter. 

Emily: I’m so excited about this, because that means my guy Andrew S. is getting a one-on-one this week. Super excited for Andrew! At this point in the episode, I was screaming at the TV, “Come on, Andrew! Just don’t do a British accent! Don’t blow this!”

Back on Katie’s one-on-one with a sentient beard, the beard asks her why she’s so sex positive. Blake, this is week 1 shit. If you missed class, don’t expect everyone else to catch you up on what you missed. You’ve got to do your own research. We’re over the word “sex positive.” Can we just instead say that Katie has a healthy relationship with sex and her body? Like, why should that be weird and something to call out over and over again?

Anyway, despite Blake being dumb, his question did lead to an important moment for Katie. Katie spoke about her experience with sexual assault on a previous group date, but with Blake, she gives more details. She says she was at a New Year’s Eve party and she’d been drinking and someone who she considered a friend didn’t receive consent from her. Katie tells Blake, “There was a lot of guilt on my part, feeling like it was my fault. I was in denial about what happened. So much so that I pursued him aggressively so that we were in a relationship so that it wasn’t what it really was. And that affected me for a long time... Eventually, the Me Too movement happened, and it gave me some power back, and slowly I became more comfortable talking about sex and what healthy sex means.”

Susan: Blake’s response started out fine. I thought it was good to note that he’ll be mindful around this topic because of her experience. It was a little weird to bring it back like “I hope you’re not scared of me.” I doubt he had any ill intention there and probably just didn’t know how to respond. It was better than Colton telling Caelynn that her trauma made her who she is… 

Blake gets the rose (10 points) and then racks up 5 more points for a private concert with someone named Laine Hardy, which sounds like it came from a country singer name generator.

Emily: Katie says she could see herself walking away with Blake at the end of this. Don’t do it, girl. Just walk away.

But anyway. Time for the group date. And Wells and Franco Lacosta are here? I’m a little unsure of why because they were barely featured on this date, but here they are anyway. This date is gonna be a sports game of sorts that’s a mixture of rugby and basketball. And wow that seems very dangerous. 

Susan: Ah, yes. The classic violence-themed group date. Happens every season. So the game begins after some tackle practice, and things get pretty agro right away. Hunter has decided it’s time to go balls to the wall because this man wants a group date rose, god damn it. We get a montage of very rough tackles and takedowns, culminating in Justin absolutely mowing down Michael A. and hurting his neck (?) whole body (?) It looked painful. 

Emily: It’s absolutely a given that at some point during the violent group date, the Bachelorette will call the whole thing off and say something like, “I thought we were going to just have a little fun. I didn’t want anyone to get hurt.” Bitch, you’re playing rugby basketball. Like. Think.

Justin is really upset that he hurt Michael, and he starts crying for 2 points. Katie tells the guys that the black team won, but in her eyes they’re all winners for not leaving the game with a concussion and/or breaking their necks. 

Susan: That evening, Katie pulls sweet angel Michael aside first and gives him an old school ice pack which will do nothing. Get this man some muscle relaxers. Michael tells her it’s been a weird week because it was his late wife’s birthday. He is sad he didn’t get to spend it with his family like he usually does, but he says Katie brings him comfort. They kiss for 2 points.

Emily: Connor sings a romantic song to Katie which must not have been very catchy because I can’t remember any details about it at all. But it’s really working for Katie, and she cries. So 5 points to Connor. 

Emily: While Connor is singing to Katie, everyone is talking shit about Hunter. Because surprise! He’s the new bad guy

Susan: Quartney wraps himself in toilet paper and I knew at this moment he was not getting a rose. Mike can only talk in sports terms and wants to go to first base? I did not like this, but they kiss. 

Emily: I’m still just baffled that Mike, Mr. No Dessert on nobody’s team, is still here. 

Hunter gets his time with Katie, and he tells her that he feels really close to her. And while he doesn’t introduce his children to women he’s dating normally, he wants to show her pictures of his kids. Katie is touched by this.

Susan: Back at the “house,” Andrew S. gets his date card (20 points). It says “Let’s find our way to love.”

Emily: Let’s get back to this group date for a wholesome moment. Michael tells everyone about his wife, and everyone’s being so nice to him, and I just want more moments like this. Greg is crying. Michael is crying. 

Greg commends Michael for finding ways to be so positive when he’s experienced such a great loss. As someone who has been through a devastating loss, I just want to say this is one of my biggest pet peeves. When someone commends me for how great I’m doing or how positive I seem, it just tells me that they haven’t picked up on how devastated I am. But I also realize it’s hard to know what to say in these situations, and Michael takes it well because he’s a sweet, sweet human being. 

Greg and Andrew M. comfort Michael. Greg has already gotten points for being a good friend this episode, but let’s throw some points to Andrew and Michael. 2 points each. 

Susan: Michael’s story really affected Greg, and he feels like he needs to step it up with Katie. When they talk, Katie tells him he has “resting sad face” which is true. He tells Katie he’s completely crazy about her, and they kiss for 2 points. He says he’s falling in love with Katie in his ITM. 5 points. 

Emily: There have been a lot of deep, meaningful conversations on this group date. And some TP and a ukulele song. But ultimately, Hunter gets the rose for 10 points. I’m sure you all realize everyone else is thrilled. 

Susan: Time for Andrew’s date! He’s looking fine as hell, but he had to wait around all day (and a good chunk of the night?) for Katie to show up. It’s apparently very late when Katie arrives to walk him deep into the woods. I wrote down that one of them said “This is nervous.” 

Emily: They were so nervous they couldn’t do words. Also, I’m pretty sure Andrew sang “Into the Woods,” so now I’m convinced he’s into musicals, and I AM HERE FOR IT. 

When they get deep into the woods, they turn on a light and there are envelopes attached to string lights up high where Andrew will have to help Katie reach for them with his strong man arms and his man height. They are told that every envelope will bring them closer together. They show each other their dance moves. They imitate the sounds of animals in the wild. It’s all very sweet. I really like Andrew. 

Susan: Next they have to break some heart things and answer the questions in them. They both say they learned what not to do from their parents’ relationships. He says he learned not to leave his partner hanging when times are tough. She says she learned not to settle and you should take your time to find your forever. 

At dinner (is it like 4 a.m. now?!), Katie asks Andrew what makes him who he is. He tells her that his dad got locked up when he was only six years old. He fell in love with football, but football often reminded him of his father’s absence because he was never there to watch his games. Katie relates to this because her parents were divorced, she didn’t always have them both around either. Andrew doesn’t understand how a parent could willingly miss out on moments with their children, and he vows to always be there for his family. 

Emily: Andrew says he can see something serious between them, so there’s a conversation he has to have with her. I really did think at first that he was going to say he couldn’t have kids or something like that, just from the way he was setting it up. But he tells Katie he had an ex who was worried about having mixed children, and ultimately that was part of why the relationship ended. Andrew asks Katie how she feels about having mixed children. 

Katie cries (5 points) and tells Andrew, “I feel so naive as a white woman of the struggles you experience as a black man.”

Susan: This conversation was a lot more than what we got on Matt’s season (a season where some of the contestants really needed to have this talk). It was sad to hear that someone Andrew thought he would marry had this fear about having biracial children. I really sympathized with him in this moment, and I’m glad he brought up the topic with Katie because this show too often glosses over the real-world aspects of the relationships we see forming.

Emily: Andrew tells Katie, “I’ve really fallen for your heart. I’ve never connected with a woman on this level.” Katie takes him to a hot tub (5 points) and obviously he gets the rose (10 points). Oh, and they make out (2 points). Proud of you, Andrew. 

Susan: It’s time for the cocktail party, and Katie has on another great red dress. I loved this styling. She tells the men she sees her husband in this room, so the dudes with rose are probably feeling pretty good right about now.

Emily: Justin chats with Katie first. He says he’s going to read her a statement and she has to say “I accept,” or “Nah but thank you for your feedback.” I’m a little unsure of how this is a game and why she has to respond with these specific phrases, but maybe I’m missing something. 

Susan: Hunter, imbued with a new confidence after receiving the group date rose, is already talking about hometowns. He set up a mini one-on-one for Katie with champagne and a telescope that he apparently brought from home?! This show is known for making contestants pack light, so this feels like a wild item to bring. Anyway, people are mad that he’s talking to Katie when he already has a rose. I’m sorry, but isn’t this the whole point of the show? What is he doing wrong? 

Emily: I agree. In fact, I don’t think Hunter is the first person this season to talk with Katie at the cocktail party even though he already has the rose. I think Greg did it, but nothing was made of it because Greg is a “frontrunner.” I really take issue with Hunter’s villain edit here. I know we’re supposed to think Hunter’s a bad dude at this point, but I don’t think he’s done anything wrong. 

But James (who I forgot was still here TBH) is pissed. He tries to interrupt Hunter while he’s talking to Katie, but Hunter says he wants a few more minutes, at least. Of course, James just stalks around in the background until Hunter gives up. 

Susan: When James, who is dressed like a villain in a 90s movie about Satanic cults, sits down with Katie, he tells her he has feelings for her, and they kiss for 2 points. Aaron, Tre, and James are sitting around talking about how Hunter shouldn’t be trying to talk to Katie. When Hunter sits down with him, he’s like well I’m here to date Katie, so… 

Emily: Yeah… I think Hunter’s only misstep here is that he’s overconfident, but we all know a lot of that is producer-influenced, so it’s hard to even be mad at him about that. 

Susan: Ok, I need to talk about how the producers focused so much on Hunter’s tics. So throughout this whole “Hunter is the new villain” stretch of an edit, we can hear sniffing/snorting/throat clearing sounds from Hunter, and they’re played up a lot in the sound edit. The show was asking for people to make fun of this. And that’s fucked up because, as we learned on both Hunter and Katie’s Instagram, Hunter has Tourette’s syndrome. If Hunter’s tics are like many other people’s, they can become more noticeable and frequent in situations of high stress—which this show obviously is, especially when three dudes are being shitty to you for doing literally nothing wrong. 

It upsets me that production played this up in the edit because it’s clearly something they can and have edited much differently in other episodes. They did this knowing that people would make fun of him and to make him seem more villainous. Tourette’s isn’t villainous, and it’s not cool to play that for comedic purposes.   

Anyway...is it time for the rose ceremony yet?

Emily: I absolutely agree with you, Susan. And yes it’s time for the rose ceremony. Hard to believe we’re actually getting a rose ceremony at the end of an episode! Here’s who got a rose: Greg, Aaron, Michael A, Connor, James, Justin, Mike P, Brendan, Tre.

Susan: That means Quartney (told ya), Andrew M., and Josh are going home. It really seems like all the guys like each other and are bummed when their friends go home. 

So what are the points looking like this week?

Team Crazy Cat Lady

Connor - 7

Greg - 9

Aaron  

Andrew S. - 40

Justin - 2

Brendan 

Quartney - eliminated

Hunter - 10

This Week: 68

Last Week: 129

Total: 197

Team What’s in the Box

Blake - 38 

Michael - 4

Tre - 

James - 2

Andrew M.  __ - 2 eliminated

Josh - eliminated

This Week: 46

Last Week: 91

Total: 137

It’s still anyone’s game! Especially now that Susan’s team has acquired Blake. Come back next week to find out what happens.