It’s an open secret that I love trashy reality TV shows, especially things like the Real Housewives franchise and 90 Day Fiancé. These shows require such little brainpower, and they work well as background noise for other activities like cross stitching (my favorite) or making grocery orders. I don’t have to absorb every second of RHONY to know that Tinsley is having another meltdown. Michael and Angela will still be just as problematic if I return from the bathroom after missing their scene. So when I saw that Netflix had released a new reality show titled simply Indian Matchmaking, I knew I had to at least try it.
Cut to three hours later, when Netflix is gently asking me if I’m still watching. You know I am, Netflix. You know I am.
The woman controlling everyone’s fates.
It’s difficult for me to explain the appeal of this show, especially because I am neither Indian nor experienced with arranged marriages, but I want to argue that Indian Matchmaking—like There’s Something About Sweetie—offers a much needed contemporary perspective on the process of matchmaking.
The show follows Sima Taparia, one of the most sought after matchmakers in America’s Indian community. Sima flies to her clients’ homes, interviewing their parents and assessing their lifestyle before finding a match for them in her database. She takes all aspects of their life into account: what does the client want, what does their family want for them, what are their hobbies, what’s their horoscope? While the show glosses over some aspects of arranged marriages, it does a good job of demonstrating that arrangements don’t mean simply marrying the first person your family tells you to. Young people seek out arranged marriages for a number of reasons, only some of which are the societal pressures to get married.
Marriage is more complicated than people portray it in media. When you marry someone, you accept and enter into their entire family, you pledge to go through some hard times with them, and you agree to show all your messy bits to them. It’s not some prince charming scenario or a happily ever after situation—and that’s normal and okay! I applaud matchmakers like Sima Taparia for acknowledging that marriage is between families as well as individuals, and for encouraging her clients to pick someone who fits with them in a variety of ways.
That being said, Indian Matchmaking also acknowledges that Indian marriage is an industry that generates a huge amount of money for the many matchmakers and vendors involved. The show also mentions issues that persist within matchmaking culture, including casteism, colorism, and classism. Part of making a match is perpetuating these harmful isms; marriages between people of different classes or even colors are still looked down upon by many. Indian Matchmaking had a chance to critique these aspects of matchmaking but chose not to, which is odd considering that filmmaker Smriti Mundhra has made films about the difficulties of marriage in India before (A Suitable Girl).
I won’t spoil the series for you by telling you who ends up together or not, but I will say that the discussion and portrayal of marriage within Indian culture is what feels relevant to this show—not the relationships themselves. If you enjoy reality shows about love and family, this might be a solid watch for you, but keep in mind the issues the show isn’t addressing. Marriage is a huge commitment and a big decision for any person, and Indian Matchmaking shows us that different cultures approach it in unique ways!
All that being said, I stan Nadia.