Emily: Believe it or not, we’ve already come to the end of this strange journey that has been Listen to Your Heart. And Mary and I are here to break down the final episode for you.

Mary: Because it’s the finale, we have to rehash everything that’s happened so far. Cue sappy montage. So...did they not take those huge and expensive tour busses to Nashville? What’s the point in getting those insane busses if they don’t drive them to Nashville?!

Emily: I had the same reaction. As someone who did actually tour in a van cross-country with a band, I don’t feel like they really got that tour bus experience. You got in a bus for four hours. Cool, I guess.

Mary: Chris meets with the group to tell them that the upcoming dates are going to be THE MOST IMPORTANT dates yet because there will be fantasy suites! I love how Chris Harrison says that in the fantasy suites they will be free to do “whatever [they] choose to do as a couple.” Chris also emphasizes how serious this next step is.

Emily: I really hate when Chris does this. He gives this speech at the end of every Bachelor in Paradise season. It’s basically “get serious about being together forever, or get out.” But… why though? What are the repercussions if we just hang out as a couple and then see how it goes? In reality, there are none, so I don’t understand how this speech seems to work and freak people out every single time. Chris Harrison has magical mind control skills.

Mary: That was confusing to me, too. I think that maybe being in such close proximity to each other, with all the couples happening together, might freak out the less-serious. But who can say!

I want to say now that watching this was an experience for me because Todd is from Nashville and has very strong feelings about it. From the moment they walked into The Hermitage and Trevor says, “We’re at the Hermitáge,” Todd said, “The fact that Jamie did not correct him is honestly offensive.” Here’s the thing, they’re in Nashville. Do you think that it’s going to be the Hermitáge or just the plain old Hermitage? I mean, really. It’s like when people say they’re going to Targét. All that being said, the hotel looks gorgeous and I want to stay there.

Emily: Eh. This hotel wasn’t really my vibe. The Nashville Gods are going to come down from above and smite me for this, but I was like, “this looks like my grandma’s house.” But I mean, yeah, it’s a nice hotel. I guess I would be excited about staying there. I like nice hotels.

Mary: Admittedly, “grandma’s house” is part of my whole aesthetic.

Emily: Anyway, they’re all totally casually hanging out in the hotel and not clearly in formation for an announcement to arrive (they’re all squashed onto one couch… totes natural). And then surprise! An announcement arrives. And it’s their song assignments for the finale. Each couple gets two. Rudi and Matt get “Saving All My Love” - Whitney Houston and “It’s Your Love” - Tim McGraw and Faith Hill. Rudi immediately begins singing “Saving All My Love” and Jamie decides to chime in and sing as well and I’m just like… Jamie be quiet.

Other song assignments: Jamie and Trevor get “Unchained Melody” by the Righteous Brothers and “Speechless” by Dan+Shay (I do not know this song). Bri and Chris get “Make You Feel My Love” which is for some reason credited to Adele even though a lot of other people (Bob Dylan) sang it first. They also get “Give Me Love” by Ed Sheeran.

Something about these song assignments mixed with Chris Harrison’s magical mind control speech sets Matt off and he’s not sure he’s going to be able to sing Whitney Houston with Rudi in earnest.

Mary: Jamie and Trevor practicing is cute, and I like how excited Jamie is to introduce Trevor to Nashville. I want to state again that I think that Jamie puts on a fake country accent to sing. The twang is insane. She also seems to know more about the guitar than Trevor does, which amuses me. When Trevor tries to put his capo on his guitar, Jamie has to adjust it for him. Why do none of the girls play guitars? They at least have some familiarity.

Emily: Yes, I also find it strange that none of the girls play guitar.

Mary: Bri and Chris are sweet and I hope—as I’ve said before—that they’re going to just stay together and have happy lives. I hate how literally any time Chris and Bri do anything, they intercut other people’s drama into their sweetness. While they sweetly sing a song, we see Matt moodily sulking around, then Rudi crying in bed. When Rudi said, “Can I just close my eyes for five seconds?” it was a total mood. I feel you, Rudi. We all need to close our eyes sometimes. Now, finally, it’s time for them to talk. Emily, what’s your take on the Matt and Rudi drama and how it’s all shaken out?

Is Chris Harrison actually a hypnotist that mind controls all the contestants?

Emily: Okay so here’s how it goes down. Matt tells Rudi, “Getting to know you and how far we’ve come from the beginning of this whole thing has been such an amazing experience and getting to sing with you has been the best musical experience of my life. I wouldn’t be able to do any of this if you weren’t here. After hearing all of this stuff from Chris Harrison, it’s hard for me to say we can go up there and be at the same level as they’re at with their relationship. Because I just don’t feel like we are.” Uh oh.

Rudi responds by saying, “Obviously we’re still here for a reason. We don’t fake anything, and that’s why I like you. For me, I’m not going to have to fake being in love with you. I’m not going to fake anything. Obviously I’m not going to force you to be here if you have to fake being onstage and being happy.”

Mary: It seems like Matt is comparing himself too much to Chris and Bri, which no one can live up to. Listen to Your Heart doesn’t seem to be asking as much in the way of commitment in comparison to other Bachelor shows. It isn’t necessarily asking anyone to get engaged, is it?

Emily: Yeah, Matt’s being dumb as hell. Basically, what I got from this is that Matt felt pressured to fall in love and Rudi was like, “We can just chill and make beautiful music together and see what happens.” But that wasn’t going to work for Matt, not after Chris Harrison’s speech of destruction. So they’re both going home. WTF.

Mary: In the end, I think I ended up liking Rudi? She didn’t shake out to be nearly as dramatic as I thought she’d be.

Emily: I agree. And I really thought Matt and Rudi might end up winning after their performance last week. At this point, it’s obvious Bri and Chris will win, but let’s check in on Jamie and Trevor anyway, I guess.

Mary: After Matt and Rudi leave, Trevor and Jaime head off on their date, which tastefully has a cheese board set out, along with a guitar. Jamie talks about how everyone she’s dated has cheated on her. This is a great chance to remind everyone that JAMIE IS TWENTY ONE YEARS OLD. How many people has she dated, really? Is she counting middle school boyfriends?

Jamie and Trevor compliment each other for what feels like forever, telling each other how they care and how they feel sure, and how they’re falling for each other. Then, Jamie opens a date card with a key to their fantasy suite, where they find chocolate covered strawberries and champagne. Presumably, they do the sex after the cameras stop rolling.

Emily: I found this date so boring. They said nothing of substance. So let’s just move on to Bri and Chris, whom we love. At their dinner, Bri makes a dumb toast and they both laugh at it, which I thought was really cute. I think the fact that they can laugh together and poke fun at how “serious” this is is a good sign for them. Chris says he’s so excited for their future. When the discussion of a fantasy suite comes up, Bri says she’s only interested in getting to know Chris at an emotional level right now. Chris agrees he doesn’t want to get physical too quickly. So they forgo the suite.

Mary: It’s weird to hear Bri talk about taking things slow with Chris, and considering saying no to a fantasy suite, after they’ve been so in love the whole season. I understand where she’s coming from about taking things slowly and really valuing physical intimacy, but like...you don’t have to have sex in the fantasy suite? I was under the impression that it was just a time without cameras, where couples could have sex, but they could also discuss things that they aren’t allowed to talk about on camera, like the specifics of religion or finances or just life stuff. I think that Chris and Bri handled all of it really maturely, though. They communicated well and voiced their concerns. What do you think about the role of the fantasy suite on the show?

Emily: From what I understand, a lot of people go into the fantasy suite and don’t end up having sex. Having that time away from the cameras to just talk and get to know one another can be good, and I think it’s possible to say, “Let’s do this, but not have sex.” That’s what Hannah did on her fantasy suite date with Tyler C. Before they went off-camera, she made it clear that there would be no sex. But you know, at least Chris and Bri were on the same page with this. And if that’s what they both felt comfortable with, then good for them.

Mary: We definitely get comparison shots of Bri and Chris waking up in their separate rooms while Jamie and Trevor wake up to their clothes strewn all over the floor, wearing matching bathrobes.

Emily: Yes, this franchise loves to shame people both for having sex and not having sex.

Mary: Which is a wild decision on their part, tbh. After getting ready, both couples head off to rehearse their numbers. From the get-go the producer (I guess?) overseeing the rehearsal comes out to say that Bri and Chris don’t seem “together” or “lovey.” This is something the Bachelor shows do that I don’t like. They prioritize sex and make the fantasy suites seem like the end-all. If the couples are into it--that’s great! But if they aren’t wanting to have sex? I think that should be okay, too. It seemed like Bri and Chris were completely on the same page the night before, but now Bri seems to be regretting not taking the fantasy suite card. I’m not sure if this is just the editing, or if there’s actually tension, though. They could just be understandably stressed about their performance that night.

Emily: I definitely think it was editing. As I mentioned earlier, it’s pretty clear at his point that the winners will be Bri and Chris, so the show had to do something to try to get us off the scent. It didn’t work. We know. Especially because it seems like Trevor and Jamie didn’t even rehearse before the show but rather spent a nice leisurely day in their bathrobes eating croissants.

It’s time for the performances, and we have quite the line up for judges this final week: Kaitlyn Bristowe and Jason Tartick, Taye Diggs, Jewel, Rita Wilson. I know this is pre-Coronavirus, but I really want to know how Rita Wilson is feeling, since she and husband Tom Hanks were some of the first celebs to catch COVID-19. I hope she’s doing okay.

Mary: *sigh* At least Train guy isn’t here this week. I don’t know Kaitlyn really, but I was moderately happy to see the rest of them. These judges are fine.

Emily: Kaitlyn is amazing, and you should know her. She’s the Bachelorette who got slut-shamed severely on her season for having sex with Nick Viall before the fantasy suites. She also got screwed over by the show when they made her compete with another woman for the Bachelorette spot. Despite all of the bullshit the show threw at her, she is amazing, smart, funny, outspoken, and was just an amazing lead. One of the bests. Never forget Kaitlyn Bristowe. And if you don’t know her, get to know her. The guy she’s dating now, Jason Tartick, is… meh. I’m still sad she and Shawn Booth broke up. Anyway...

Mary: Ooooooh! She does sound really interesting. I might have to check out her season, because if I’m being honest I do love Nick Viall. Jamie and Trevor are first up, singing “Unchained Melody.” This is a really beautiful song, but also kind of an old and boring one. They do the thing where Jamie touches Trevor’s face a lot, and the band puts a country spin on it, which I don’t think works well here. They sway awkwardly and the crowd cheers for the most unimpressive note that Trevor hits.

Emily: So I listen to Rachel Lindsay’s podcast, and last week she pointed out that Jamie has really heavy hands. Like, when she touches Trevor’s face, it almost looks like she’s smacking him. So that’s something I just can’t unsee while I’m watching this performance. After their performance, Kaitlyn says they need to go to the fantasy suite because their chemistry is out of control. Jamie’s like, “LOL joke’s on you. We already went to the fantasy suite.”

Mary: Oh my gosh! I need to go back and watch thinking about her heavy hands. It’s interesting that Taye Diggs said that their “nerves” told on each other, and that they relied on each other too much. For the most part, I think that the judges have criticized couples being too far apart in previous performances, so saying that it’s okay for them to take a moment and stand separately is an interesting critique to be coming this late in the game. That being said, I do agree that both performers should be able to be their own performer!

Emily: Yeah, I think they’re still not sure how to judge these performances. I think what Taye Diggs was picking up on here was weakness. Their vocals were just a little weak and shaky and they kept turning to each other for support. If their performance had been stronger, the turning to each other might have seemed less awkward or distracting.

Mary: Bri and Chris continue to worry that they’re not going to be as good as Jamie and Trevor, but their first performance, I think, shows a lot of vulnerability. And Taye Diggs definitely vibes to it, nodding his head along. Rita Wilson even clutches her chest and says, “Wow!” mid performance. And really, Chris has such a smooth and nice voice. Bri also has a great voice, but like, wow, Chris!

Emily: As predicted, they are clearly way better than Jamie and Trevor, and the audience loves them. Rita Wilson says she’s pretty sure they made babies onstage. Rita Wilson seems very obsessed with making babies. Watch out, Tom Hanks.

Mary: I love Bri and Chris and I stand by that.

Emily: Same. So, clearly, they win. There’s a quick and suspenseful rose ceremony onstage, and Chris Harrison announces Bri and Chris are the winners. They go back to their tour bus, which I guess followed them here even though they got here by plane, and there are roses waiting for them on the bus. Bri says, “Since day one, I gave you my rose. I love you more and more every single day. Will you accept this rose, Chris?” It’s all very sweet. What do they win, you ask? A record contract and a tour. So now my question is this, Mary: as much as you love Bri and Chris, will you listen to their album (now available on Spotify) or go to see them on tour?

Mary: Wow! I had no idea that their album was already available. Looking at it now, I do love the art design (very minimalistic), but I’m not sure the music is up my alley. The premise of this show, and the reward, reminds me of American Idol. Sure, the winners get a record contract, but they’re bound to represent the show that granted them that contract, and don’t really have the freedom to completely make the music they want to make because they’re trying to satisfy a specific demographic. I’m also not sure how soon that tour will happen, considering that there’s a pandemic going on. I’ll definitely give the album a listen but I have to really love someone to go see them on tour. What about you, Emily?

Emily: I famously hate live music, so I would have to love this album to go see them. I will check it out though.

Mary: Fair enough!

Thank you for joining us on this wild ride that was Listen to Your Heart. This show probably won’t happen ever again, but if it does, you know you can tune in here to find out all about it.

Tags

Archive

Follow us on Instagram!