Each year, around October or November (or sometimes even July), Hallmark begins its onslaught of made for TV Christmas movies. These films all feature similar plots, similar characters, and similar beautiful romances. The demand for Hallmark Christmas movies has become extreme because of their comforting charm. Their easy to understand plots allow for maximum coziness. Emily Vanderwerff has a good explainer about Hallmark movies if you want more info about the genre. You can also listen to the Pop Culture Happy Hour crew discuss our favorite cheesy romances on this episode from last year.
Imagine the scene: it’s a weekend and you’ve just snuggled into your blankets on the couch with a mug of hot cocoa. What to watch? A Hallmark Christmas movie will do just the thing! But there are so many—why not make your own?
With one six-sided die and the knowledge of your own name and date of birth, you can make your own Hallmark Christmas movie!
First, we’ll walk through all the integral parts of a Hallmark story, then we’ll title your masterpiece. Let’s go!
Setting
1 A small town with a strong sense of family, preferably in New England. Very snowy.
2 A small town with a strong sense of family and bad accents, preferably in The South. It’s not very snowy but they do talk about snow a lot.
3 New York City. Very snowy.
4 Somewhere that is clearly Canada, though the setting is never defined. Very snowy.
5 Maybe the Midwest? There is a festival. Very snowy.
6 Los Ang—just kidding. It’s New England again. Very, very snowy. There are snow globes everywhere.
Female Lead
1 Noel, who owns a hat shop, is quirky
2 Holly, recently dumped by her rock star boyfriend because she didn’t like the flowers he bought her
3 Mary, lives in the big city but is returning to her small town where she runs into her high school sweetheart
4 Eve, has a cold but luckily her small town just got a new, hot doctor
5 Charity, weirdly enough, hates charity
6 Angel, is just a tree decoration come to life
Male Lead
1 Joseph, loves Christmas too much
2 Rudolph, recently broken up with by his mean Christmas-hating businesswoman girlfriend
3 Nick, has red hair, secretly dreams of being Santa
4 Yul, lumberjack with a heart of gold
5 Klaus, is Santa, but young and hot
6 Frank, short for Frankincense, has no sense of smell
Maybe a Mowry sister is in your Hallmark movie.
Supporting Characters
1 Overbearing sibling/parent, someone to pressure the protagonist to get married and stop being such a grinch
2 Mysterious older person who is the spirit of Christmas
3 Cute animal companion; must look like a living stuffed animal
4 Mean boyfriend/girlfriend; dates the protagonist until True Love comes along
5 Sassy coworker. They’re sassy. And a coworker.
6 Moppet, just a kid. Who’s kid? Doesn’t matter. Must be cute.
Social Relevance: This movie is about . . .
1 A new type of technology that’s not too new, like a blog, or an app!
2 Small towns. Secretly great and Christmas-loving? Maybe there’s a festival specific to the town? There’s definitely a festival.
3 It’s based on a Christmas carol or song (see: The Christmas Shoes).
4 The Death of Local Business. A quirky local business (maybe owned by a protagonist) is failing, and the town must band together to save it.
5 Rip-off of an older book, like A Christmas Carol or The Prince and the Pauper.
6 Gentrification. You know what it is.
Conflict
1 Two people must pretend to be a couple, then actually fall in love. Why must they pretend? IDK—being alone at parties is hard!
2 One protagonist gets a job on THE WEST COAST (it’s always the west coast). Will they take it, or choose love?
3 One protagonist is already in a relationship. Maybe it’s bad, or maybe it’s just boring. Or maybe they have a job on the west coast.
4 Someone is a grinch and doesn’t understand the True Meaning of Christmas.
5 Can two people of different social classes fall in love? Can a nerd date a jock? People can come together through the power of Christmas.
6 One protagonist owns a big business that is threatening the small town economy. There’s probably also a Christmas festival.
Maybe there’s a festival in your Hallmark movie.
Title: The (Blank) (Blank) of Christmas
The first letter of your name:
The month you were born:
What Hallmark movie have you created this season? Tell us all about it in the comments!
If you’re looking for good, old fashioned Christmas fun and DON’T want to make your own Hallmark movie, check out Emily’s 12 Days of Christmas Movies series!