Hello! We’re back for the 2nd to last episode of this season. What will happen now that the “white whale” Karishma has been voted out? Will Hurricane Noura strike back at her old allies? Or will someone else we like be voted out in favor of people we don’t like? Only one way to find out! On to the re-cap!

Todd: Well.

Mary: Well. Here we are again. Trying to make sense of Dan Spilo’s mess.

Todd: Well, I can make sense of it. The dude is a grabby piece of crap. The bigger question remains: why didn’t Survivor take him out sooner?

Mary: Yes, I should have said, trying to make sense of WHY HE DIDN’T GET REMOVED FROM THE GAME THE FIRST TIME. Obviously the big news this week is that finally, after multiple “incidents,” Dan has been removed from the game with very little fanfare. So let’s start there, at the end of the episode.

Todd: As we were watching, I kept thinking that we had gone to tribal too soon, that it was odd that we got a commercial break before the vote was read, that all of this felt off somehow. And then we cut to the beach on Day 36, and all of the castaways are there, except for Dan. There is much cheering at Jeff’s arrival, and then he lets everyone know that Dan has been removed from the game and the jury. Then we get some more title cards from production informing us that Dan was removed after an incident involving a crew member. And suddenly what had always seemed like missing pieces after the previous Dan-centric episode now snap into place. Of course, something else happened, of course it did! Dan had shown no recognition of his wrongdoing earlier, so why should he now?

Mary: We don’t get any details about what happened, only that it happened to a crew member and off camera. What’s disappointing about this, and what made me incredibly angry while watching (and now, if I’m being honest) is that this all was an inevitability because of the incompetence of whoever decided that Dan should stay in the game. You’re absolutely right that Dan didn’t seem to understand what he did or why it was wrong, so why should he change his behavior? What I don’t understand, as a woman, I guess, is what Dan is getting out of all this. Briefly touching someone, even inappropriately, just doesn’t seem worth it to me. What’s sexy about making someone uncomfortable? But maybe that’s a power dynamic I just don’t get.

I’m disappointed in the showrunners for letting Dan stay in the game after Kellee spoke with Dan about his behavior and warned him, then after everyone got a “talk.” How many times should you have to warn someone before they are expected to amend their behavior? I suspect there’s some sort of legal action being taken against Dan, or by Dan. Jeff Probst’s hesitance to talk about it makes that clear for me.

Todd: Yup, that definitely seems true. And while I am not hopeful, per se, that anything meaningful will be said at the reunion next week, I do hope that Survivor does something, anything, to make amends for what has happened this year. Even something like a donation to RAINN or some other organization that fights against sexual harassment, as well as an admission that they were not adequately prepared to deal with this, would at least be a step in the right direction. However, seeing as they are on CBS, an organization that is not known for its adept handling of sexual assault issues, especially in the #MeToo era, I am not sure what will actually happen. If I had to guess, Jeff will pay some lip service to being sad about what happened with Dan, will try to turn it into a “teachable moment” and talk about how “this is what makes Survivor so interesting” and maybe Kellee will get to speak for 15 seconds.

Bleh. We should also add that the finale is being pre-taped next week for...reasons? It mostly feels like a way for CBS to protect itself if one of the cast members says something negative about the show.

Mary: I don’t know what they gain by pre-taping the episode. Supposedly, it’s so everyone feels “safe,” but if Dan isn’t there who would feel unsafe? Or is he going to be there? There’s not a lot of information out there right now, and most of what I’ve seen is speculation from fan sites or people saying they have sOuRcEs, but not specifying what those sources are. This type of crappiness isn’t specific to CBS per se, but it still sucks and people need to do better. I’d definitely like to see some sort of admission that they handled it poorly, but I really don’t think that’s going to happen. It’s all disappointing, and if I wasn’t writing about the show here I might not have finished the season otherwise. It’s just very upsetting--and frankly, scary--to see real women trying to advocate for themselves and call out a harasser, only to have NO ONE believe them or do anything about it. This is why Janet is my hero this season, and I really hope she wins. She DID say something on the behalf of all the women (even though some of them turned out to be liars), and she seems to advocate for women at every turn. When her husband came on the loved ones episode, one of the first things he said was that she’s had to overcome so much to be one of the few female lifeguards in charge of a team that works on a beach (which is, I would think, considerably more dangerous than a pool!). That this was something that immediately came to mind for him tells me that supporting women is part of Janet’s life, not a show for television. And I think she deserves a million dollars for that. Who else would it be? Who else would make me that happy? NOT NOURA.

Todd: So you’re saying as long as Noura doesn’t win you’ll be happy?

Mary: No, no. I mean, I will be mad if Noura wins, but I also don’t really want anyone else to win. Dean and Tommy are straight out for various things they’ve said or “plays” they’ve made, and Lauren cries so much in a performative way that it puts me off. It has to be Janet for me to be happy. Then again, I guess the show doesn’t exist to make me happy. They’ve upset me many a time before. Maybe the only season I’ve truly been happy with is when sweet Bob won. I wonder what he’s up to now? Probably chilling in a yurt with his wife somewhere in New England.

Todd: Probably! A yurt he built himself, more than likely. I agree with you about Janet. Also, the season started with such a strong “Women’s Alliance” vibe, especially on Lairo, and that has been such a strong narrative for so much of the season that, especially considering all the Dan stuff, I would just hate for a man to win. And it seems like it could very well happen. Dean, who this week “won” an Idol Nullifier on the Island of the Idols, will probably play it on Janet, who found an idol this week with Tommy that Elaine and Dean spied on. Do I want this to happen? No. Do I think there is a strong possibility that Janet goes out at 5? Yes. Has this season been at all predictable? Once again, no. But it seems sad to me that this season, which has been full of strong women who played complex and interesting games, could lead to yet another bland (white) guy winning. (No offense to all the bland white guys out there, including myself.)

Mary: This episode was kind of weird to me. Elaine was voted out, but the lead up to her getting voted out made me think she was going to get enough people to stay on her side. After barely losing the challenge, Elaine and Lauren talk about “making a move” together so Lauren can build her resumé, but ultimately that doesn’t pan out and everyone decides to vote Elaine out. I guess I’m not surprised they voted Elaine out, but I’m wondering why she was their choice. It’s strange to me that Dean and Tommy seem bound together now after last week’s tribal. Is this trust based on anything much? I just don’t want this to be a “let’s systematically vote out all the women” thing after we’ve had such a great season of women doing well in the game.

Todd: I mean, the main reason Elaine was voted out is that she would almost certainly win if she made it to the final 4. She is 1 of 2 remaining Lairo members, and she is so likable and has such a good story (which she demonstrated at this tribal council) that she would probably sweep the jury.

Mary: So in that case is it just...the crappiest person wins? Because we don’t want to take any good people to the finals? I get the strategy, but I don’t like it.

Todd: I mean, ever since a plucky Robert from Boston took Phillip Sheppard and Natalie Tenerelli to the end in Redemption Island, the clearest strategic tool has been to find someone so unlikable that no one would vote for them (like Noura) and someone else who has displayed basically no strategy (like...Dean? Or maybe Karishma?) and take them to the end. The problem, as Tommy declared tonight and which became apparent in the lead up to Karishma’s ouster, is that Dean might be more of a player than Tommy at first thought.

Mary: I think my personal problem with Survivor is that I always want the sweet ones to win and they rarely do. It just makes me sad that it’s kind of like, celebrating being mean. Maybe I feel this way today specifically because I’m in the middle of grading essays.

Todd: Yeah, that is a good reminder to our readers: never grade and re-cap. It is the kind of thing that makes Survivor so frustrating at the same time that it can be so fun to watch. Look, if it weren’t for the Dan stuff (a phrase that has been uttered so much during this season of Survivor that it could start its own Applebee’s), this would be an interesting case study in how Survivor strategy has evolved and the way that crafty players are being more methodically weeded out earlier and earlier in the game. Take it back to Molly, who was basically voted out for being likable and seemingly having an alliance! 10 years ago that would have been a boot because she was “weak,” but that was never really even mentioned. Even the first boot, Ronnie, was eliminated more because he was seen as a gamer than for any other reason.

The other thing this makes me think is that Survivor often breaks your heart. There have been many seasons where I was sad that my favorite player didn’t win. I don’t remember what headspace I was in when Survivor: The Amazon premiered in 2003, but I remember really connecting with Rob (Cesternino, not Boston), a nerdy guy who used his smarts and not his muscles to get far in the game. And yet he still ended up being voted out in the Final 3 because Jenna (the eventual winner) won the immunity challenge and knew she couldn’t beat him but could beat Matt the Machete Guy. So while it is often true that the sweet ones don’t win, sometimes they do! And also, we should maybe watch Survivor: Australia soon, for no particular reason.

Mary: I hope a sweetie wins, and it will restore my faith in the game. No spoilers for this surely very old season.

Todd: Of course not! While we’re talking about sweeties, what did you think of Elaine’s speech at tribal? Looking back, it pretty clearly reads as a nice send-off for a beloved castaway.

Mary: I guess that I was hoping it would be a good case for staying in the game instead of a send-off, but it did make me feel very proud of her and happy she got as far as she did in the game. I think there’s a world where Elaine got voted out immediately for not being enough of an asset to the tribe, but those days are maybe over for Survivor? Everyone wants a goat now.

Todd: Yep. And once again, we saw how empathetic and, frankly, awesome Janet is. I really loved what she said to Elaine about how you will go through tragedy and find your way to the other side. It was beautiful! And when Lauren cried, it felt earned!

Mary: It was very nice! I hope they stay in touch. And yes, for once, Lauren crying didn’t even bother me. And Tommy and Dean just sat there LIKE LOGS.

Todd: The blandest logs. Let’s maybe do some quick hit thoughts? How dumb was Dean’s visit to Island of the Idols?

Mary: So dumb I don’t even really remember it. I do remember Sandra and Rob offering him some food and hoping they’d do something like, “Survivor is all about being aware of your surroundings and being suspicious. So we have filled this food with laxatives.”

Todd: That would have been better than what we got. Also, do you think the cast members are pooping a lot or not at all? Like, after a food reward, so much diarrhea.

Mary: They’re either pooping a lot or not pooping at all. After the Applebee’s reward I bet it was just a hard camp to be in. Remember the time they did a Charmin reward and the prize was you get to eat a bunch of food and then use a real toilet?

Todd: Truly, my nightmare and my dream.

Dean had to basically flip a coin to win a reward. And for sure, I thought the coin was double-sided or a trick in some way, but it wasn’t. And while I understand that Rob and Sandra have to not pick favorites (I guess), it was disheartening to see them cheer for Dean when he won. (It was also very funny when Dean acted like his Legacy advantage was real and they had to pretend they didn’t know if it was or not.)

Mary: Sandra did say, when Elaine walked out, “I love her.” Elaine was a favorite.

Todd: Mmhmm. Next quick hit: Tommy. First, at one point he talked about how as a teacher he doesn’t lie to his kids, but how out here “It’s fun to lie.”

Mary: One time I told my class I was 900 years old. So, I mean, sometimes it’s fun to lie about insignificant personal stuff to classes. Tommy teaches fourth grade, so I don’t buy that he’s never lied to his students before. He probably has to tell some of them Santa is real. Spoiler alert: Santa is not real.

Todd: Wait, really? Then who gives me all my presents? Frankly, Tommy is perpetuating an unhelpful myth that all teachers are saints who work simply for the joy in a child’s eye, and don’t deserve to be paid a living wage for that reason. C’mon, Tommy!

Mary: Pay teachers more!

Todd: Yeah! (Full disclosure: I am a teacher.)

But also: he told Lauren he would ride with her to the end, then told us the audience that he needs to vote her out. That sucks!

Mary: I hated that. Lauren thinks they’re so close, and yet Tommy easily picked Dean over her. Dean, who he previously had little to no relationship with before Dean outed Noura.

Todd: Yup. I hope if Tommy makes it to the end with Dean and Noura that Noura wins. Just to spite him. Truly, I dislike how much “the edit” seems to be setting up a Tommy win for this season. He has shown basically no reason for him to win. He’s not supernaturally likable or strategic and he basically rode through the beginning of the game because his tribe won a lot and then was saved multiple times by people who, for some reason, would rather play with him then with other people. (Although I guess that reason could be charm/strategy so it’s not like he is totally inert.) Still, imagine a world in which he gets voted out instead of Missy! As much crap as we gave Missy (and Elizabeth, rightly) at the time, it would be a totally different game if Tommy had gone out earlier.

Mary: I want to say something substantial, but all I’ve got is...I agree.

Todd: Fair. Here’s my last question: does Survivor deserve to be canceled? Should something more substantive than nebulous/vague “changes” be made to the show? Should Jeff be removed as showrunner? How do we move forward after this dark saga?

Mary: That’s a really good question. I’m not sure. I don’t know that I think it should be cancelled, but that may just be me being selfish. I do think they need to be very transparent about what they do to prevent this happening in the future. I understand some things have to be kept secret for pRoDuCtIoN rEaSoNs, but what’s happened this season has changed the way folks feel (at least if Twitter is any judge) about the show in general. No one likes a known creep sticking around this long. If the crew is going to take steps to prevent this happening again, they need to say how that’s going to work. People need an answer for that.

Todd: Yup. And also, screw you, Dan.

THE MERGE

Todd: Elaine almost won the immunity challenge, even after saying “Oh no! Words! Dangit!” Like, it was truly very suspenseful watching Elaine almost win, only for Dean to snatch the victory away at the last moment.

Mary: Dean totally cheated. That’s my hot take. I mean, I guess it wasn’t cheating per se. There wasn’t a rule they couldn’t look at each other’s puzzles. But Dean looked at Elaine’s puzzle and then suddenly he knew the answer.

Todd: Very suspicious. We should put a detective on this case...Like Detective De--oh wait, no. Not that guy.

That’s all this week for…

SURVIVOR: ISLAND OF THE IDOLS!

See y’all next week for the (pre-taped) finale and reunion show!